other day, I happened to have a conversation with a would-be adopter.
This "lady" stumbled upon my homepage and decided that I needed
an education and chastening via Instant Messenger. We promptly
entered into a lively debate which went downhill quicker than
an inner tube on ice.
final answer to my reasoning was that, we were the ones who had
become pregnant and we should EXPECT it to hurt to give up our
children. That it was, basically, part of what we had to suffer
for our "mistakes". She went on to further state that any unmarried
woman who kept her baby was, "terribly selfish and cheating her
baby out of a better life." She also denied, vociferously, that
any damage occurs to an infant if said infant is removed from
its mother at birth. At
that point, I could see that the debate was foolish and my efforts
wasted, so I asked that she not contact me again. I forgot her
addy as I was getting ready to block it. All I know is that is
contained the words "bestmom", or something along those lines.
little exchange was all it took for me to realize that, in the
eyes of most adopters, we are "convenient sluts"... nothing more
than felons, except that they receive our "ill-gotten gain" and
we receive life sentences.
primary focus has become RESPECT for the first mother. Perhaps,
if we were respected, we would not be expected to sacrifice our
children. Perhaps, if we were respected by the adopters of our
children, there would not be the resistance to reunion contact
we see in such abundance. Pehaps respect for us and our children
was what we needed all along.
Westbrook © 01/02/2001