What is all this rot about honoring "birthmothers"? If
during wartime an enemy soldier took a mother's infant and redistributed
him to a "loving couple", few decent people would want
to start calling the mother a "birth object". Instead
they would say she was a "mother" whose own son or daughter
was stolen from her. Even years later she would still be honored
as the mother of her child. The people who acquired her child might
be considered "kidnappers" rather than "real parents".
In adoption, many people believe a mother "chooses" to
donate her beautiful baby so that an adoption agency or adoption
attorney can broker a deal with people who have the money to buy
The scared, pressured, inexperienced mother may "select"
the adoptive "parents" for a so-called "open"
adoption, but lets face it - she knows less about them than most
people know their Thursday evening babysitter. And the babysitter
can be fired at any time the mother becomes concerned about anything.
The "adoption plan" is completely orchestrated by the
agency or "hopeful" individuals. When an agency is involved,
the "selection" of prospective adopters is undoubtedly
limited to the people who paid the agency to get them a baby of
certain specifications. The mother may never even be told their
real names. She is groomed for the "sacrifice" by the
professional adoption "facilitators", told she must not
disappoint the "loving" couple who have waited so long
for a baby.
The mother is told she will be a "hero" for making her
own son or daughter available for use by people who are infertile
or gay. She may be called a "hero" beforehand but once
her child is in the adoptive "parents" possession, people
will say she is not good enough to be called a mother - instead
she is called a "birthmother" who "just didn't want"
her own child. In the children's book "The Giver" by Lois
Lowry, she makes it plain that "birthmother" is a job
title - of the lowest status position in society. A "birthmother"
is not a "hero".
They say the mother "chose" birth-objecthood and rejected
motherhood - what rubbish! "Honoring birthmothers" is
a demented, oppressive practice - it's a ploy to get more babies
for adoption. It's time to honor a mother as the mother of her child
and not take advantage of her age, sickness, fears, inexperience
or poverty to get a baby for people who are infertile or gay to
It's time to STOP "honoring birthmothers" and honor real