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"Why BIRTHMOTHER Means BREEDER" by Diane Turski
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dear birthmother letters


Honoring "Birthmothers"!!!!

What is all this rot about honoring "birthmothers"? If during wartime an enemy soldier took a mother's infant and redistributed him to a "loving couple", few decent people would want to start calling the mother a "birth object". Instead they would say she was a "mother" whose own son or daughter was stolen from her. Even years later she would still be honored as the mother of her child. The people who acquired her child might be considered "kidnappers" rather than "real parents".

In adoption, many people believe a mother "chooses" to donate her beautiful baby so that an adoption agency or adoption attorney can broker a deal with people who have the money to buy a baby.

The scared, pressured, inexperienced mother may "select" the adoptive "parents" for a so-called "open" adoption, but lets face it - she knows less about them than most people know their Thursday evening babysitter. And the babysitter can be fired at any time the mother becomes concerned about anything. The "adoption plan" is completely orchestrated by the agency or "hopeful" individuals. When an agency is involved, the "selection" of prospective adopters is undoubtedly limited to the people who paid the agency to get them a baby of certain specifications. The mother may never even be told their real names. She is groomed for the "sacrifice" by the professional adoption "facilitators", told she must not disappoint the "loving" couple who have waited so long for a baby.

The mother is told she will be a "hero" for making her own son or daughter available for use by people who are infertile or gay. She may be called a "hero" beforehand but once her child is in the adoptive "parents" possession, people will say she is not good enough to be called a mother - instead she is called a "birthmother" who "just didn't want" her own child. In the children's book "The Giver" by Lois Lowry, she makes it plain that "birthmother" is a job title - of the lowest status position in society. A "birthmother" is not a "hero".

They say the mother "chose" birth-objecthood and rejected motherhood - what rubbish! "Honoring birthmothers" is a demented, oppressive practice - it's a ploy to get more babies for adoption. It's time to honor a mother as the mother of her child and not take advantage of her age, sickness, fears, inexperience or poverty to get a baby for people who are infertile or gay to use.

It's time to STOP "honoring birthmothers" and honor real motherhood.

Mothers Exploited By Adoption
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