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dear birthmother letters


Adoption: The Goal of The Broker Is Money 
by Anne Patterson

For Kimberley and Belinda - may we never forget!
This article is dedicated to two beautiful babies - Belinda and Kimberley (known as the Internet Twins) I prefer to use their real names as they are human beings, not objects to be bought and sold. They were the real victims and survivors - their story will remain with me as a reminder of what we need to change. It is my hope that the filthy exploitation of our most vulnerable will end.

Baby Brokers come in all sorts and shapes - some call themselves lawyers, others private practitioners and others just plain social workers. The facts about them are quite simply that they sell children to strangers for a living. 

Baby Brokers are hired by desperate infertile couples to hunt down other women's children. It is no secret that the vast majority of them are adopters themselves. Though brokers will adamantly deny that they choose sides in adoption they clearly do. There mission is to find a child to suit the needs of adopters, and not to actually do anything on behalf of the child other then make them the patsies for someone else's pain.

Infertile couples - though they may well have a number of grief and loss issues - do not have the right to claim nor hunt down anyone's child. Though I am quite sure being infertile is a terrible loss it DOES NOT EQUATE with the loss of a child from their entire family. And if society wants to have empathy for these folks then why in the name of God would we encourage them to rob someone else of their child. They are merely transferring their problems to someone else. I also do not think that infertility compares to the horrific and life-long loss for adoptees and their natural parents. Baby brokers are known for denying this.  The only person that counts are adopters - not the parents and certainly not the innocent babies sacrificed to cure the pain of strangers!

In addition women do not and should not exist to be breeders for other people. Nor should they be exploited or coerced to provide their flesh and blood to ease the pain of strangers. Baby Brokers are infamous for encouraging and shaming women into believing the fate of someone else rests on their shoulders. This is a LIE and it does not whatsoever.

Women who are pregnant do not owe anyone anything much let alone a desperate infertile couple. They are not responsible to fix or cure infertility any more then we who have been the survivors of adoption are. 
Adoptees have been the patsies and sacrificial lambs for years. We have been adopted to be the replacements for the children never born, for dead children, lost children and to fix another persons problems. The very heart of adoption is codependent as we must sacrifice our souls, our names and our identities to please the lives of strangers. 

Many will argue of stories of natural families abusing their children. While there is clearly a need for child protection adoption is by far not an answer. While most people will use this as a blanket argument to promote adoption the truth is that abuse in adoptive homes is absolutely rampant. At least 25% of the adoptees that I have worked with were abused by their adopters. This includes sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Moreover, the majority of mothers who lost their children to adoption were not and are not abusers with most being excellent mothers to children that they had after the loss.

The widespread ignorance and labeling of natural mothers is a disgrace as most were deemed as being unfit based on nothing intelligent at all - just the sweeping powers of oppression by misguided social agencies and government henchmen. A great social cleansing that swept across North America where strangers were deemed as being fit as they were married and anyone not fitting into the oppressive government realm an outcast. It is no wonder why so many of us were abused.

The issue of abuse is rarely discussed though as the so called "home study" is supposed to screen and protect adopted persons from predatory people like pedophiles and other sociopaths. The system has clearly and evidently failed. What is particularly scary is that while public home studies have failed miserably the goals and objectives in private adoptions are only ever one sided. They are for the adopters.  Moreover the objective of the broker is to get paid - does it really matter by whom? I seriously doubt that it does. Where money is the first priority children are bound to lose.

This is why we have horrifying episodes like the darling babies sold on the Internet. That story broke my heart seeing those innocent babies being exploited. The media wanted to crucify the broker but the broker was by far not the only culprit. What type of person would buy children to start with is the greater question - and why are governments allowing the sale of children to start with? 

Private adoptions are a disgrace to me and a glorified word for kidnapping and selling infants. It is my hope that they are outlawed one day.

Copyright © 2001 Anne Patterson. Anne is a author, adopted person, and licensed private investigator with 11 years' experience and 95.4% success rate in reuniting families separated by the adoption industry. Visit her website at www3.sympatico.ca/searches

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