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dear birthmother letters


Adoption Poem:

by Cathy Denny

It was very traumatic for me to see baby pictures of my son after our reunion.  The one of him in foster care was particularly painful for me.  He looked so sad and lost.  I wrote this poem after I saw the foster care pictures of him.  My poor baby.

Swept away from his Mother's warmth immediately upon his birth,
The natural bond of Mother and son deemed to be of little worth.
Looking for comfort from the Mother he had already come to know
What wounds were inflicted on his tiny soul?
Unable to put his confusion into words,
Did this grief and rage of his first loss go unheard?

Did anyone see in his grieving eyes what lay behind his passive cries?
I see it now in pictures long ago put away.
Tucked into books and envelopes; remembrances of his first days.
I look in his eyes, and see, a reflection of my own
Terrible grief looking back at me.

Did he grow beyond that grief, or is it with him still?
Just buried far deeper in his soul than any of us will ever know.
For he has become adept at guarding his heart
To prevent any further loss or pain.
having convinced himself that to fall in love
Presents a threat that, for now, outweighs
All the comfort he could gain.

Hearts and souls heal slowly
Silently recalling fractures of long ago.
Weighing the risk of letting anyone know
What lies deep in his heart, what he's buried in his soul.
Patiently waiting for the one to help him see
How good it feels to set his heart free.
To trust her enough, and so completely,
He tells her those things he was once afraid she would see.
Mending his heart one fracture at a time.
As he comes closer to this I find;
Mending that fracture in his heart,
Is the key to mending mine.

Copyright © Cathy Denny 5/00

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