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 Guestbook Entries - February 2004 to November 2004


Laura (Mendonca) Bratcher | @
I was adopted when i was very young i believe i was a infant when i was adopted.I was bounced from foster home to foster home until i ended up at George & Jaunite Mendonca. I been told i'm Osage Native American by my adopted mother maybe it's true, i have alot of features to show the Hertiage. When i was 9yrs old my adopted mom told me i was adopted. Then when i turn 18 yrs old i wanted to find my Bparents but adopted mom blew up. I was born March 13, 1970 at Deerborn Community Hospital but the hospital is no longer. My adopted parents refuse to help me open my adoption files that are sealed in Sacramento Ca. I have no Knowlegde of my back ground but would like to pass it to my two wonderfull kids. No matter what i try nothing works . Jaunita says the files can't be opened and the only way for them to be opened is if i was dead and if the kids wanted to check into my hertiage. But i know there has to be a way to poen them but don't know where to go. I've tryed Legal Aid and Lawyers nothing to aval. I need to close this chapter in my life that has been opened far to long. Anyone with any information please e-mail me @ pumin302001@yahoo.com or laura_bratcher@hotmail.com - 23 November 2004 - United States


hope
I think this site puts out a much needed message. I think your message needs to be more mainstream, so when somebody is doing a search engine on adoption, your site will come up. I have been on both sides. I was very pressured to adopt my baby out. I even handed her over to an agency, didn't sign any legal papers. But a social worker told me she was on the way to my house to drive me to court to sign surrender papers. I said I wanted her back. She said that wasn't possible and called child protective services. I wasn't scared because I knew I did nothing wrong-I didn't abuse or neglect my baby or use drugs. I said do what you want but I'm not signing those papers. An investigator came out and said I could have her. But how many others would automatically be scared of child protective services and just consent to the adoption thinking it's better than foster care. Then years later I went through three years of infertility-my tubes are open and I was in my 20's,but I do agree with your website a lot of it is STD's causing scarring and people just plain waiting too long to get pregnant. Infertility is very painful and very devastating, but I never once considered taking another woman's baby. I do think it's a woman's right to pursue any medical treatments in order to get pregnant no matter how aggressive if she chooses-if she uses her eggs and her partners sperm. - 15 November 2004


Ann Pekuri | @
My daughter found me ten years ago, when she turned twenty-four. Just after her birth and before relinquishment,I held her and fed her and told her my story at the Florence Crittendon Home in Lakewood, Colorado in October of 1969. I suffered terribly at the loss and am healing, slowly.
She is an amazing person, who was/is well-loved. Her adoptive mother reminded her, appropriately for a child, that there was 'another mother thinking of her and sending her love'--keeping my place alive and respected. I am so grateful.
I am writing my story and as I do so, digging deeper and deeper into those closeted memories, I think more and more of the friendships I made and want to make contact with these women, to see how they are doing.
I have three more daughters. They were escorted down the aisle as my eldest's bridesmaids. I was escorted down the aisle as her 'other mother'. My entire family was there; mother, father, brothers and their wives and children. After all the secrecy and shame, I have been given the opportunity to celebrate her birth and life.
Do not lose hope.
If anyone knows how I may search for my friends, any suggestions and assistance will be appreciated. My best to each of you in your search and healing. - 14 November 2004 - Eastsound, Washington


Ginger E. Bush | @ | url
I am an adopted 51 year old woman (birth record shows birthdate as 7/15/53 who does not know her birth parents and little about her heritage.

I always wonder about why I was put up for adoption and I recognize that I may never know. But it helps to see a site such as this and realize I was not the only person affected. Great site, keep up the good work. - 10 November 2004 - North Carolina USA


Alex | @ | url
Nice site. Keep it up! - 10 November 2004 - USA


robin | @
you say that i should 'keep my baby' and that 'adoption is in the best interest of the adoption parents' NOT IN MY CASE!!!!!!! I am 25 with four children between the ages of 1 - 11, I live off of the $600.00 i get from the government, as i am medically unable to work; I am also 4 months pregnant. My baby's father liquered himsellf up one nite before i even found out and then drove himself into a street lite. He was killed instantly. How can i provide food, clothing, and shelter for five children on that kind of salary? If I were to try, social services would get involved, and I would lose the ones I have!! before you go telling the world that adoption isnt right, THINK!! maybe it is the only choice they have!! Giving up this baby is going to be hard, but it is something i chose to do because I love my baby, and I want whats best for this baby. - 08 November 2004 - canada


Webmistress comments: -  Dear Robin, in 1948 the government of Canada promised all its citizens adequate social assistance that would enable them to keep their families together. Withholding assistance that would enable your baby to stay with your VIOLATES the human rights of BOTH of you!

If you WANT to keep your baby, there is help. Go to http://groups.msn.com/MostLovingOption or http://www.nebula.on.ca/canbmothers and there are people here who can help you. Look at http://www.originscanada.org/mothers_bill_of_rights.html at your rights. And look at Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Adoption will hurt your baby, AND will hurt your baby's siblings who will suffer grief and loss as well.


Kay Stokes | @ | url
IM looking for my son who was taken at birth,i was 14 years old at the time so the DR. and my mother decided i was to young to care for him. the dr. came inn my room and wanted me to sign a paper to have my son cliped,i kept asking to see my son and they would tell me later he was sleeping or they were giving him a bath.until a nurse told me he was up for adoption.they were crule that was the worst thing they could have done to me!he was born 8-20-1963 in Vincennes Indiana at the Good Samaritan Hospital he weight 7lbs.1oz. and was 21in. long and he was born at 5:38am. the dr. was Chattin my name at his birth was Kathleen Ellen Bowman and my mothers name was Virgina Cook please help me im at my wits end!!!!!!!! - 05 November 2004 - US


Sonya Oldham | @
Thank you for such a brilliant site, i have copied your articles on loss for our Irish natural mothers site. - 05 November 2004 - Ireland


Desiree Carranza | @
Hello,First of all I want to start off by saying 'Thank God' I have found this web site.I have been fighting for my children for two years now.The courts have just terminated my rights to my four children.In the begining the social worker told me I had nothing to worry about that I would get my children back.I was given a thing called a case plan in wich I had to do all that was in this packet and of course I did it all and more.At this point they still were not satisfied.I began starting to visit my children and noticed my 3 year old had severe peeling on the palms of his hands that looked like peeling from burns,I then braught it to the social workers attention she said 'I'll look into it.One week later they stoped me from seeing him because the foster parent claimed he was inflicting bodily injuries to him self for visiting me.Thats were it began the more I spoke up about the wrong they were doing to my children and myself the more lies they stated to tell social workers,supervisors,and FOSTER PARENTS all of them.The day they terminated my rights the social worker had the nerve to tell me how I was felling she said exactly theese words 'You must feel like you've been drug through a dry desert and kicked in the gut.'I told her you have treated me like a hungry rabbit and have been dangling a carrot in the front of me each time I got closer you pulled back.As of this moment I have still not lost hope I refuse to let this be the end I Will not let them get away with there corruption.I have been advised from lawyers,social workers,counslers,DV advocates to seek publicity.It's not only A scorned mothers view on this it's others as well.This is why Iam asking for help 'Please'If any body can help me or just some advise please do so.As for all you mothers who have lost your children 'Stand Tall and Refuse To Fall!!! - 27 October 2004 - Gilroy,Ca October 27,2004


Barry Roberts | @
I was born in Richmond Virginia 1951 in the Children's Home. My real name is Steven Keith Sealy please let me know more about my birth mother
nikki-127@cox.net - 27 October 2004 - Hampton


tara marie (chase) ortuno | @
i am 32yrs old now. i gave up my daughter in 1998 at glens falls hospital in new york.it was all done through my boyfriends grandparents. no idea who the lawyer was. the boyfreinds name was cory leclair and also know as cory oddy.i was able to hold her in my arms for a few minutes after birth.she was put up for adoption not my choice. want her to know that she has two sisters. you can email me . my heart is empty. she would be almost 15 or is 15 going on 16. - 26 October 2004 - looking for my daughter


maria spenceley | @ | url
I am the mother of a beautiful baby girl taken from me by the local authority baby snatchers here in the U.K. I have fought the British 'secret' family courts for 2years. They have just obtained a Freeing For Adoption Order (ADOPTION WITHOUT CONSENT ) in May 2004. There is only one stage left- an Adoption Order. The lies, corruption and professional abuse knows no limits. I am joining forces with pressure groups here in the U.K. to stop these evil baby-traders. I would welcome any support from my global sisters in this universal fight for our most precious gifts- our children. - 10 October 2004 - U.K.


kyleigh mccord | @
hi i have just found out that my mum had my older brother adopted i understand why she did it and came on this site to get a idea of how she is feeling. my mum got her 1st letter from him two weeks ago and now she is meeting him in a couple of days. - 10 October 2004 - scotland


Desiree Carranza | @
Hello,my name is Desiree.C..I have been searching for something like this for so long,thank God.I have been in the process of fighting for my children going on two years.My children were taken from me due to domestic violence between my husband and I.I have sense then changed my whole life around and has done all that was asked of me to do in order to get my children back,but it seems like the social workers,D.A.&Judge had their minds made up from day one.They have treated me like a hungry rabbit and danggled a carrot infront of me.The adopted parents had no problem with me until they knew I meant buisness and how determined Iam to get my children back.The system has told lies about me to my childrens advocates.I so identify with the people who have lost there children to death but like others in my situation its worse for us knowing our children are out there somewere.I can not imagine going on with out my babies 'it hurts so much' There are days I can not bare seing a child on the street without breaking down.For this reason I refuse to go down without a FIGHT!! If any one has advise or shares the sorrow I am going through please contact me at descarranza@yahoo.com .As for my advise to you mothers 'Stand Tall & Refuse to Fall! - 07 October 2004 - Gilroy,California


Kim Stoltenberg | @
I too am a birth mother. I was 18 when my son was born. I never knew the father, as I was raped. I could tell no one of this, and tried to put it behind me, by then I found myself pregnant. This was 1977. The day I got the call from CSI,is one I had prayed for. My son and I so far have a decent relationship, he has set bounderies for himself. I want to better understand how an adopted child feels, so that we can help each other. His adoptive parents divorced when he was 5 or 6 years. There was sexual abuse by the adoptive father.I have anger towards the system, for pushing adoption, and who they selected for parents. One thing that turns out well, is that he looks like myself. We are overwhelmed, by the similarities, I know that God must of had a hand in this. I wrote to his adoptive mother once, and received a letter back. That has been it for me, the ending of her letter hurt so. She stated that having two mothers was a bit much. I wondered where I fit in. I have so many emotions. I pray for understanding, but want so much to be his mother, and to be called 'mom'. It may be helpful for me to read of other adults, who were adopted as infants, how they reguard, and protect their own feelings on the subject of adoption. David is now 27, married,no children,had problems throughout life with drugs, running away from home, and supported himself,at 15 years of age, quit school, got his GED, is self employeed, and doing well. I'm very proud him, and who he has become. He doesn't have a relationship with the family that adopted him, but yet seems to be protective of the 'mother' the only mother he ever knew. He sometimes, strikes at me, with words of anger.I really feel that he doesn't look at me as his natural mother, I'm a stranger to him, I realize this. I just want so much more. Will this ever feel normal? One step at a time. Anyone with a comment? Words of encouragement? This much I do know, and no one can erase the fact, that I am his mother, and he my son. - 04 October 2004 - Nebraska


Marlene
I am searching for my birth mother and 2 siblings. I was born April 16, 1960 at the Sudbury Memorial Hospital in Sudbury, Ontario Canada. Birth father, whom she was dating, as well as the community and family members were unaware of the pregnancy. Birth mother was previously married, husband had died in an accident - they had 2 children (ages 2 and 3 when I was born) and were being looked after by family members. Birth name given to me by mother at the hospital was Mary and the last name Williamson appears on my adoption papers. Birth mother was also adopted and when she was a young teenager her adoptive mother passed away. It's really a strange thing to know you have birth parents and siblings (family I like to think) out there somewhere, yet have no idea who or where they are, let alone when you don't even know if they are aware that you exist! It seems more difficult to find any information since I now live in New Mexico.
If you have any information - please reply to this post, it would be greatly appreciated. - 30 September 2004 - Sudbury, Ontario Canada


trish
I just wanted to say that I have read alot of the stories on this web site and I am sorry for the pain you all are feeling. I totaly understand why you feel the way you do. But I gave my baby up for adoption threw an open adoption and although it is painful to not be able to hold my baby whenever i want it is also comforting to know that my baby has a mother and a father that loves her wich is somthing that I wasnt able to give her. I have a wonderful relationship with the adoptive parents. So please know that not all adoption situations are bad for some people they might just be the best thing that has ever happend to them. once again I am sorry for your pain and just know that greiving and anger are common felling when you give your baby up for adoption. I hope one day you all will find a way to accept your decisions and for those of you who had no choice I am truly sorry for your loss. - 25 September 2004 - california


Webmistress comments: -  Dear Trish, 25% of adopted children have divorced adoptive parents, as opposed to 16% of children being raised by their real parents. There is no way to get adopters to sign a guarantee that they will never divorce, so you haven't guaranteed your child a mother and a father. Nor is there any way you can guarantee that the adopters won't close the adoption. As well, many adoptees still even in open adoptions feel the pain of being "unwanted" by their natural parents. It is a no-win situation except for the adopters.


maria | @ | url
im a british mum of 5 wonderful children, 2 of which i lost to adoption in march 2004 and 3 to long term foster care because of the british care system. i have been and still going through hell, its my baby girls 2nd birthday this year and i have missed them both, and my little boy has now started school and again ive missed his birthdays too. because of the injust way that the authorities rule things, my children have been torn from me, a loving home that may not of provided in the way of lots of holidays and a typical mum and dad home, but they did not want for love, warmth, food and the nessecities. i miss my children big time, and i will never give up until we are reunited, i write letters and things to my home for them, so that when we are reunited they will see they were never forgotten. i have since started a support group designed for families like me, as there was no support offered to me, if anyone would like details of this please email me... in fact if there are any mums that have experienced suffering at the hands of the care system again please contact me.... im sick of people that turn their backs when they learn that i lost my kids to this archiac system, like i should be ashamed, for ages i was, then i realised, they should be the ones that are ashamed, not me. - 18 September 2004 - united kingdom


maria masters | @ | url
hi im a young(ish) mum from the uk, whose 5 children were stolen from me, 3 in foster care and my 2 youngest to adoption, i ahve found and still am finding things hard, but ive found a new strength by starting a support group for other families involved in the care system. my web page is dedicated to families going through it and offers a message board where people can post birthday annoucements, etc and hopefully someday it can help to reunite families, like me. i'd be grateful if you could possibly post my link.
http://mums4ever.proboards21.com
thankyou - 18 September 2004 - the south west region of the uk


Ian Caffell
It seems a very small box to about write my feelings as a adoptee! It's a great site & one which has given me yet more of an insight of my life long battle.That battle,it's name,it's nature,it's depth,i have been living with for 35 years.It has been very subtle in places,as i learned to bury very deeply the scaring trauma,my great sense of abandonment,the wound & fear that has never allowed me to form any lasting relationship with another.I have cried tonight it what seems a long time,whilst reading pages on this site.
I have lived with a legacy,which seemed like a curse when i was younger,my extreme sensitivity,my very acute empathy,any harsh comment,criticism,mickey taking,would wound deeply,i remember extreme lonliness as a child,although i had 2 of the most loving,giving,caring parents a adoptive child could have.They have been a great example,but i could never open to them & i think i must of began rejecting from the age of 7 onwards,but i still to this day feel protective towards them in their old age,they gave much for us kids(i am the youngest of 4 adoptee's).
I have always known of my adoption,it was never hidden.
I made a decision 2 days ago to begin actively looking for my birth mother,it's been a long time over due!
The thought has been with me for 35 years,but it's been 35 years of battle to face the pain inside,Know it's name,know it's nature & fathom it's depth & by f*** it hurts ,i write this through tears,feeling.......... - 14 September 2004 - UK


leighen | @
i was born on march 27 1970- to know more about me go to www.geocities.com/hiphop70ca/adoptionpage.com i m looking for my birthmom and family i dont know if i was born in canada or in the states on that day - 10 September 2004 - canada


Amanda Turner-Edwards | @
Experience, is not required to be a mother or father and being a parent is the bestest thing in life because you can look after life. Lost, forgotten mother\father needing only the love from there family, can u relate? whom ever has my children please give them back, as we didn't give them away.Having tried moving on with my life, with out choice still months later i am left deprived of my rights as a parent and lost in the sane world that you live in. love mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxplease for give me, for leaving. - 08 September 2004 - south wales


Amanda Turner-Edwards
I had my first child when i was 19, ran away from violence when i was 20 weeks pregnant and later moved in with this older man due to family problems. when my oldest was Born:November 6th 2001, my daughter.The social services caused problems for our family, we had little money but we had a close family they took both babies. Destroyed our family.i will the children next, they will both be in there late teens. Having missed both babies, i left thier dad, reminded me of how much the children that we both missed so much, which could have taken me to my death bed. ALWAYS LOVE FOR NIKI,RHYS AND DAVID JENKINS.x. May we be re-united one day for the love of god xxxxxxxx MUMMY xxxxxxxxxx Miss u all Very Much. STAY STRONG.XXXXXXX DADDY XXXXXXX - 08 September 2004 - south wales


Kerri Ann | @
I am looking for my birthparents. I was born in Coburg (Melbourne Australia)on 10-6-1959. Living now in the Netherlands (Europe). The name of my mother was Jones at the time. - 07 September 2004 - Melbourne (Coburg) Australia


Kay
Love your site. Thank you. - 03 September 2004 - Pacific NW -- USA


Dennis Murphy | @ | url
This has been the closes to information Ive been able to find. But I dont know if its the right place. My friend a 19 year old female now residing back home in Iowa. Was arrested over a year ago in Texas with her bf and her baby. There were drugs and alcahol in the vehicle. She spent I think a month in jail. The bf is in prison. She was arrested for public intoxication only. The baby was put into foster care till she went through the programs she was told to do. After 4 months she has finished all programs the court had asked her to. At that point she was than jailed for child endangerment from the initial arrest. Yes, they waited till she had finished everything asked of her, and than brought up more charges after the fact. At that same point she had found that the foster parents have asked to adopt her baby. After she was released from jail the 2nd time, her probation officer said she should move back to Iowa with her family, and the appointed lawyer will work on the case. Since she has been back in Iowa, they have moved ahead further on the adoption. And being in Iowa had made it harder to fight for her daughter. She has no contacts or friends down there. The state of Iowa has done little to help, except to cause more problems with not providing correct procedures for placement with her parents.
She is a very good person, she made a mistake in her life. But she doenst desever to lose the one thing she loves the most in this world. She has sent things to her daughter to the Foster family, but hasnt even recieved a reply from them on whether they got it. This baby will never know her own mother. It seems that the foster family may have ties with someone is the local government in texas. Is there anyone she can contact to help her? What can she do with no funds or help? - 01 September 2004 - Iowa/Texas conflict


britta | @
i HAD to give my son away straight after birth on 29.12.1985.my mum made me,she said at 15 i was to young to decide myself.i sufferd,till 29.07.2004.i made contact with him through a TV show.we met a week ago,it was great,at last i was able to hold my son...if only for a second i thought all these years.he turned out a great lad and we keep in touch frpm now on.all this happend in germany by the way!please mums....NEVER give up hope,EVER!!!one day YOU will find your babies,one day YOUR suffering will come to an end as well as mine did. - 28 August 2004 - germany


anieta | @
I have been living in a constant nightmare I lost 3 childern in 5 months. One I gave birth to and watched him die in my arms. The other two the state of illinois took them. I battled for about five years in court. I had issues of domestic abuse and drug abuse I did everything to correct those issues and recovered well, better than they expected. I did everything they asked. Just for the judge to tell me its to late. while my childern were in the state they were abused and later placed on medication.
I live on a day to day basis learning to live with the pain. people tell me im strong. Im not!!! it becomes so overwhelming i sometimes want to lay down and just call it quits. This world just seems to be the hardest thing for me. I find relief sometimes in christ. other times i just go through the day.I mail them clothes, letters, cards, toys etc. That helps me to get through. I hear my children say mom i want to come home to you and mom i will always love you.
the pain gets worse but i can't let them know i hurt because i dont want them to hurt. they think im going to sign papers when i appear in court oct,2004 they are crazy I wont. I became so stressed that I had to move to another state hoping to find some kind of peace in my life. I didnt know that they could predict the future. my present is a clean and safe loving one why cant my future be the same. they say adoption is big money market for the states.what about the childern who love and have never been abused by there parents, what about the parents that have worked hard and successfully changed their entire life. i guess change doesnt matter. oh well as they say life goes on. - 23 August 2004 - Ga.


Courtney Rainey | @
I am an outraged adoptee from Edna Gladney in Fort Worth, TX. (5/26/79) I just recently inquired about my non id info and things of that nature with the agency...they gave me what they had at a price $50 and told me I can register with them for $15 more dollars (of course I was assured that my mother had never made any attempt what so ever to contact me and probably never would...they didn't urge mothers to look back is what I was told) and since she's not looking for me if I wanted them to preform a search for me that would be another $350 please. So I began some investigating as to why I wasn't getting the answers to the questions that I thought I deserved. I asked my a parents and of course they were under the impression that when I became of age (18) that the agency would jusst locate my mother, set up a meeting and that would be that. They had no idea that even though the paid THOUSANDS to get me that they would have to pay more for information that is sitting right in front of these people at the agency????WHO KNEW??? Since then I have been getting active. I am still searching for my original family....but I also want to help make it so no one else has to go through this... It's time to make a stand and fight for our rights as American citizens!!! Give me my OBC and all of my medical records and yes I have the right to know my family (who do I look and act like are just the tip of the ice burg) - 22 August 2004 - BATON ROUGE, LA


Ivy Cawley
Ben Tinerino,
I am your birthmother. I love you very much and I hope that you will contact me someday when you feel ready, even if that's twenty years from now; whatever. I will always love you, and I'm not going anywhere.
email: xxxivy@hotmail.com
website: http://girlnation.bravehost.com
(my website has a photo album; a good option if you don't want to contact me at this point but want to see pictures of me & your brother). - 15 August 2004


Sarah Lee | @
What interesting graphics you have on your site. I am curious--do the bar dripping blood and the flames symbolize how much you hate adoptive parents? Or, do they symbolize
what you want to do to adoptive parents--stab them or burn them to death? - 06 August 2004 - Flint MI


Webmistress comments: -  interesting questions. The blood symbolizes the unending damage that adoption does to adoptees and natural parents separated by adoption. the fire symbolizes our anger at having our babies TAKEN FOR ADOPTION. They were NOT "unwanted." Adoption is NOT about unwanted babies. It is about unwanted mothers.

As for people who wantonly demand babies where they know the mothers wanted to keep their babies, who pay money to agencies and lawyers to coerce women to surrender or who participate directly in coercion by hunting down and courting a pregnant woman, they probably deserve to burn in Hell.


kellyobrien | @
I was adopted in NY state in MAy 1968, my birth certificate says i was born 11-22-67 my adoptive mom wont tell me anything about my birth mom ..only I was in a Catholic charities orphanage until she adopted me. if anyone out there can give me advice on finding my birth mom i would so appreciate it - 01 August 2004 - florida


theresa m. (jones) collet | @
I was 14 when I gave birth to a baby boy. It was 4/09/71, good Friday at 12:20 in the afternoon. My stepmother wouldn't let me keep him, because my stepbrother raped me. I have never forgotten Charles L. Jones that was his birth name. He was born in Atlantic City Hospital in Atlantic City, New Jersey. I stayed at the Florence Crittenton Home. In 11/72 I got married I tried to get him back then, but I was told to let him stay with his new family. - 29 July 2004 - New Jersey, United States


Shaye | @
I feel compelled to respond to your webpage. The viewpoints of your subscribers beg many questions. I feel deeply for the stories of the women here. A few years ago I aborted my child for circumstances that are many and I will not go into. I suffer greatly now with my choice which I too feel coerced into.
Even though people say that there are alternatives to putting a child up for adoption/or abortion, these alternatives are usually not widely spread, underfunded and sometimes quite temporary. (with Republicans in the White House I don't see that changing). IF adoption is made completely illegal don't you surmise abortion rates to soar?
If any of you were unable to have a child, would you adopt? - 20 July 2004 - Kansas


Webmistress comments: -  please see http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/abortion.html for our response to the question of abortion.

I don't think that anyone who belongs to this collective would adopt a child. If a child has no parents or extended family and is thus truly in need of a home, permanent legal guardianship provides parental rights and meanwhile does not falsify birth records nor give the child a new fake identity sealing the original one away, as adoption does.


Lisa Quan | @
Here is the last part. The adoptive family gave me hate mail, my own brother won't speak to me and people stare at times, but they have no idea what it's like. A child deserves to be with their REAL mom. There is more to life than money, God will provide. No one will sacrifice themselves as much as a real parent would. The adoptive mother was complaining the 5th day she had her, about sleepless nights and she went working out as well. I had 6 and a half months without contionious sleep at night, and I had to get up each time, with no one helping me, she had her husband to take turns. I love my daughter and am extremely protective of her. I can't even leave her in the church nursery let alone a day care. And I don't either. Only you can teach your kids, not some retarded day care worker. I am living with my parents though, have a part time job and on welfare but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I didn't want to live a lie the rest of my life. I am glad I bumped into this website before time ran out. And I am glad for my daughter too. There is no love like it in the world. - 11 July 2004 - USA


Lisa Quan | @
Where do I begin? I wrote you guys awhile back. I sadly gave up my daughter to adoption. I believed all the lies the adoption industry fed me, but I sadly took. After I actually did it, I was in utter hell. So I researched online and realized I was not the only one and it only gets worse with time. So 5 days before I couldn't change my mind anymore in CA, I did, I got my daughter back! Sadly she was in very bad physical condition, on the verge of pneumonia, and was being neglected by the adoptive family who already had 3 biological sons. It took me a month to nurse her back to health. I love her so much and I can't believe I gave her up for adoption. She is 7 months old and a healthy 20 pounds. Did I mention, she is so beautiful, smart and full of personality? There isn't a day though that I don't think that I actually gave her up. I hate myself for it. I don't know what she will think, but I will tell her when she asks about her father. Cont. - 11 July 2004 - USA


Mina | @ | url
I'm a female adoptee born in Atlantic City, NJ in April 1956. I've been searching for 32 years and have gotten hardly anywhere. My mother was a resident in the Florence Crittenton home (atlantic city, nj) when she was 17 and I beleive she was forced to give me up. She had 4 siblings, one of which had spina bifida at the time of my birth. I'll keep searching, hoping that there also is someone out there searching for me as well. Mina - mifre9@aol.com - 09 July 2004 - Dallas, Tx


Yvonne Przybyla-Rodenberger | @
We are all but victims of our surrounding conditions, which were beyond our control at the time our children were taken from us. I was mentally, physically, and emotionally abused my my mother and her dysfunctional family, as well as, by my own husband. I could not endure nor embody anymore abuse. So, I turned to alcohol and substance abuse, which got me no where but in and out of jail. We are but only living beings, who sacraficed ourselves and our children, in the most selfless act of relinquishing our parental rights. I to, feel grave emotional damage inside of my soul every moment of these days long.
My first thought when I wake, is of my beloved children Brendan John (15), Nicholas James (12), Brandy Nichole (11), and Corey Allan Rodenberger (8), They are the last thought in my mind before I sleep.
I Love and Miss each one of you, from the depths of my undying memories and deep with in my inner being. I long for the day that we are together. Pleasant/Unpleasant which ever it maybe, we will work through this together. I know now where you live, and only a few more years for you to become of age. I am getting my life in order as it should have been before. What has not killed us, will make us stronger human beings for what we have endured. I express my deepest an honest apology to each one of you, for bestowing these troubles upon you so young. May time take time, and let time heal our wounds.
Love Forever,
~MOM~ - 08 July 2004 - May Birthmothers Find Relief From the Misery/Pain We Feel


Tim Gordon | @
Florida Family Courts are the worst enemy of the family. - 29 June 2004


maria | @
i'm a nmum who lost 2 children to adoption in march 2004 and currently fighting to have my older 3 return home from foster care. would love to hear of other sites and e-pals going through the same thing, especially mums in the uk, who are having or had problems with the british authorities. all replies answered, contact me: hunnimummi@aol.com - 27 June 2004 - uk


jacqueline mclaughlin | @
Searching for my son born dec 30 1963 in ottawa at grace hospital. Given up for adoption immediatly.Adopted by Dr. in Canadian Air Force. - 24 June 2004


Their Mom
I am so sad. My son's golden birthday is tomorrow. He is 17 now. My daughter is 14. I need help...I am so tired.. I haven't slept good in months.. What is going on? I can't stop thinking about them... More than ever! - 17 June 2004 - SouthWest


tabitha stewart | @
I am a 31 yr. old mother of 4 with 3 in the system.As i read these stories i feel only compassion and sympathy for everyone.I too know this pain and live day by day with anger,hope,and love for my absent heart--which is my other 3 children.I worry about them wondering if there ok and love them with all heart and soul! The one thing that keeps me going is my 8 yr. old daughter i have at home!My story is 10 yrs. worth of fighting the system with no help.I never won but i still fight.Maybe not through courts but in my heart now! - 11 June 2004 - ripley,tn.


Helen | @
Connecticut is notorious for taking children from parents that didn't do anything to hurt their children.
I am one of those parents that the state of Connecticut has punished for what my ex husband did. I was the one that put him in jail, not the state. I was told that if I divorced him that I would be given back my children. It never happened. Both my girls were adopted out. My oldest daughter is now back in my life after 16 years. As for my youngest daughter, I found out 3 years ago that she passed away. I hate her adopted family with a passion, because I was never notified. I never got to say goodbye! I never got to hold her one last time and tell her that I never stopped loving her.
I am now in the process of contacting the medical examiner to find out if an autopsy was done on my daughter.I am doing this because when I went to my daughters grave I could not find it because her so called adopted family was too cheap to have a stone . I found out from the funeral home where my daughter was buried. I was also told that she was buried with 3 other children who died one to two years apart from each other. All including my daughter were cremated. The adopted parents are now divorced. The adopted mother has disappeared. Which has sent up a red flag since she went missing shortly after my daughter passed away. I won't give up on this, I will keep trying to find out what happened to the day I die.
As for my oldest daughter, I plan on asking her to let me readopt her . I want her to know that her MOM loves her very much and never wants to lose her again!
The state of Connecticut took my girls away from me on paper. But in the eyes of god and in my heart I was and always will be their MOM!!!!
I love you both Carol and Sherry! - 09 June 2004 - Crooked Connecticut


Charles Hannasch - part #2 | @
In particular, I am interested in experiences relating to
- Dual Representation: where one attorney represents both biological and adoptive parents. Or, where the attorney representing a biological parent is paid for by the prospective adoptive parents.
- Documented cases by a state or local public adoption agency which have been covered in the local news media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public adoption agency which have not been covered in the local media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private adoption agency which have been covered in the local news media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private adoption agency which have not been covered in the local media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public social services agency - including social workers and/or supervisors - which have been covered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public social services agency - including social workers and/or supervisors - which have not been covered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private social services agency - including social workers and/or supervisors - which have been covered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private social service agency - including social workers and/or supervisors - which have not beencovered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local court which have been covered in the media, and
- Documented cases by a state or local court which have not been covered in the media.
Anyone with relevant information may contact me at:
channasch@earthlink.net. - 06 June 2004 - Orlando, Florida


Charles Hannasch | @ | url
I am an independent investigative journalist working on a project for a possible investigative book dealing with commercialized professional adoption services, including the documented actions of adoption attorneys, maternity homes, adoption home medical personnel, and quality-of-care (including potential neurological damage to birth mother and/or child due to the improper administration of drugs) given to the birthmother and child based on available medical records. - 05 June 2004 - Florida


Claudia Corrigan Sheeley | @ | url
I say ENOUGH!!!
Enough of the pain, enough of the lies, enough separation, enough, cohersion subtle or blanent, enough of corruption, open closed records, enough broken promises,enough baby selling!!!
LETS GO NATIONAL!!!
http://groups.msn.com/NationalInfantAdoptionR formAct/_whatsnew.msnw
Let' rewrite American Policy on Infant Adoption. Lets Change the world and prevent it from happening again and again.
All are welcome to jump on the bandwagon!!!
The more the merrier!!!
This is suppose to be a government for the people by the people....so lets go!! - 02 June 2004 - NY


Darlyne Lounsbury | @
I was born August 24, 1951 in Toronto East General Hospital. My [natural] mother went to hospital 'posing' as Mrs. Georgina Lounsbury, wife of my father, John Lounsbury. After 5 days she handed me over to the Lounsbury's to raise, never to be heard from again. I am not adopted. There is no one searching for me as the story goes, my [natural] mother went home telling her family and six children (again, according to the hospital records I have) that I was deceased.
Of the 'family friends' I have contacted, all are very aware of the story, however, none know the identity of my [natural] mother. I believe my father had an affair and because of his criminal past, he had my mother go to hospital on the day of my birth posing as his wife, give birth and hand the baby over to my dad and his wife, never to be seen again.
I just want the truth. I need a name, and find it odd that no one has any information with regard to my birth or other pertinent information. - 27 May 2004 - Milton, Ontario


Claire Eyre | @
29 years now. Constant issues, I try to go forward but little enthusiasm! - 26 May 2004 - All


in canada | @
My mother gave up her 1st daughter for adoption, giving birth to me less than a year after. I only found out about my sister because she called me one day out of the blue. We have a very weird last name and she was able to contact me. I didn't know about her my mother hid this. I was and continue to be very angry towards my mother. She says oh it was the 60's, times were different, you didn't know what was going on. I know this, that girl, my half sister is messed up. Her adoptive mom died in her early teens and she has little to do with her father. I saw one picture of her and its spooky, she looks EXACTLY like my mom. My mom basically at the time gave her the brush off. I feel guilty because at the time I was all for that, I was the eldest and damn it was going to keep it that way. But now I wish I could find her and say how sorry I am. Try to be her friend. This compounded with the fact my mother was flip and told me on my 21st birthday that who I thought was my real father wasn't. And that everyone knew but me. Sheesh woman. It has made me hate my mother and I don't want my kids to have anything to do with her.Thinking of adoption? I can't tell you what to do.But I can tell you this, any children you have in the future will look at you differently and it will effect your parenting. There are far too many resources out there for you to make it. And the people who get these kids are not the deserving families, they are the families from white middle america with $. They buy their children like fashion accessories. Trust me anything good your child does will be because of them, anything bad will be because of their "trashy birth mother." Keep your kids, see it as a challenge. You can do it! Go to school, build a support network. signed disappointed by her own mother's behavior
mom to boy 8 with severe disabilties
girl 2
with no money or support who is rather happy considering - 24 May 2004 - canada


Sarah Simchuck | @ | url
I was victim to this plague! Please visit this link as I was conned by this sickness! http://www.geocities.com/thebat01mic/ my story PLEASE add this link to your site as I have added you to mine. I am going to get my children back, the family will pay for their lies. YOUR SITE RULES!!!! - 24 May 2004 - MINNESOTA UNITED STATES


Shirley Aston | @
I placed my son for adoption in 1971 and unfortunatly the experience was very traumatic - I'm sure that many other mothers had the same experience, the drugs at the birth, sheet over the face and active discouragement in seeing your child.
Counselling was unheard of 'good girls' just kept quiet and signed the papers. My family just didn't talk about it, my mother has since done so but my father and brother have never mentioned that time. I have told my subsequent children and they have been very accepting and supportive. I have not attempted to find my son and am undecided as to the best course of action - can you give me your feelings on this matter, both mothers and children. Perhaps you can help me over come my fears. - 23 May 2004 - Australia


Tricia | @ | url
I receive much inspiration from this site! I do, however, wish, as does June Smith, that you would refrain from using the ugly b-word to describe moms who have lost children to adoption. It is also important that we take away all pretenses to adopters being so-called 'parents.' In other words, do not call adopters 'aparents' or 'adoptive parents,' if possible. They are, correctly, those who adopt. Those of us who are parents, whether or not we have lost a child to adoption, have passed along genes to our children and the moms have given birth. These things provide a special bond that adopters do not have. It may seem like a small thing to use completely honest adoption language and to be consistent with such use, but the language is what shapes people's thinking. One reason that adoption is so popular in the U.S. and Canada these days is because adopters fancy themselves parents. I do not give them this power. I do not call an adopter in one my of children's classes a 'parent.' Only by using honest language will we take away the power of fake parenting through adoption. Only then will adoption as we know it end. - 19 May 2004 - Los Angeles


Connie
I was taken away from my mother Julia when I was about 2 along with my sister Charlie and for about three years we were placed in many different terrible foster homes. My mother was considered unable to care for us. Honestly, I do not remember if my physical needs were met, but I do remember how she loved me. And I remember how it felt to be in the foster homes --nobody cared. There were too many kids coming and going for the foster parents to pay any attention, and the absence of my mother's love has haunted me always. - 15 May 2004 - Born in Dallas TX now living in NYC


Deby | @
I am so saddend in reading these stories! I am an adoptee who searched and found my birth parents - who are no longer together. My birth mother wants nothing to do with me and it tears at my heart everyday. I turned to alcohol for a while to ease the pain, but couldn't even drink the pain away. I have since gotten back on track with my life and put the bottle down. Mothers Day is around the corner and my b-day is 5 days after. May is the hardest month to keep the tears from falling. I give all of you mothers that were so wrongly abused love and credit. I wish I could hug you all. My wish is someday my feelings of being tossed away w/out concern will vanish. Until then, I keep on taking life day by day. God Bless all of you! - 05 May 2004 - Rhode Island


Marijke van Ekris | @ | url
To all the mothers in exile, especially on Mother's Day:
I am 34 years old and only just waking up to my personal truth.
I am an adoptee. I am searching for my mother.
I know that she is out there in the wilderness, somewhere and I want to tell her that I love her, I miss her, that I am filled with sorrow that we were separated; that more than anything, I long for her to hold me and never let me go again.
I live in state with sealed records, and I howl at the injustice and stupidity of it all. I know the name that my mother lovingly gave me at birth. I do not know her given name. So, this mother's day I send my love out to all exiled mothers, everywhere. Know that your children love you and long for you. Stand strong and sing out your truth. Know I am with you. - 05 May 2004 - New York, NY


Victoria | @
I am an adoptee. I understand the pain that both partis go through during this whole process. This website shed a little more light. Thank you. - 03 May 2004 - Here


Louise Caliro | @
Does anyone care that I am looking? Does anyone care that I have always been half of a person? Does anyone care that I was born May 5, 1955 in Boston Massachusetts? - 02 May 2004 - Washington DC


Eileen Creasey Maiden name Boyd | @
I was adopted in Yellowknife, Northwest Territorries, in 1965. I was born Oct. 3, 1965 to Liz (Elizabeth) Kaglik/Dillon. I was two months old at the time of the adoption. My adoptive parents are Scottish and had moved to Yellowknife as my adoptive father had work with Giant Mines. My [natural] father met my mother in Inuvik as he was stationed there with the Royal Canadian Navy. He went by the name Larry Cousineau. He had a french name which he disliked so chose the name Larry. He had red curly hair, grey eyes, freckles and would have been about 21/22 yrs. old at the time of my birth. The navy upon discovering my mother's pregnancy sent Larry to Thunder Bay, Ontario, where his family was located.
I currently live in Sudbury, Ontario and would dearly love if anyone could help me with my search. There are many, many Cousineaus and in the Thunder Bay area, it is like he never existed. The National Archives in Canada agreed to forward a letter to him for me, but suddenly changed their minds and said there was no such person as Larry Cousineau. - 30 April 2004 - Sudbury, Ontario


william h holland jr | @
looking for natural mother. my given name at birth was john von ahnen. later changed to william holland jr. born 11-18-1956 in columbus ga at the medical center. found baby bracelet, it says vonahnen on it. could someone please help me find her? i was told she was about 16 years old and had to give me up.and the adoption might not have been legal. i have a birth certificate in al and ga but it has "william h. holland jr" on it. please help. thank you for your time. - 22 April 2004 - is my moma


Keela
I can understand all the pain here. My adoption records showed that my mother had felt she needed to give me up because it was best to have two parents. She gave me up even though my father said he wanted to adopt me himself. She actually went to court to prevent him from adopting me. He was 30, had a good job and owned his own house.
Instead, I got sent to a family of criminals. My dad is a thief and I have cousins in jail for rape and murder. I was told throughout my life that I was a mistake - not wanted by my original family and not wanted by my adoptive family either. If I was ever naughty (for example, getting a good report card!) then I was told that it was my 'bad blood' coming out.
I was constantly told I was going to be sent to a children's home. Constantly told that it was obvious I was the adopted one, because I was so ugly.
When I was aged 10, my adoptive father started working for a man who liked to abuse little girls. I was told that I had to put up with it, because my family needed the money and I should be grateful that I was taken in when no-one else wanted me.
Now I have no family. I can't find my original Dad. I don't want my original mother. I don't speak to any of my adoptive family. I am all alone.
Adoption should be illegal. - 14 April 2004 - Australia


June Smith | @
I have been scrolling through your wonderful web-site but feel i must make a comment. Why do you refer to yourself as 'birthmothers' or 'first mothers'. When you use these terms you are supporting adoption.
These terms are used by those of the adoptive community to further distance us from our own children, indicating that we some how discarded our own children. These terms also allow adoptive parents to 'own' our children and children cannot be owned.
We are and will always be, ad infinitum, our children's MOTHERS!
If we had died when our child was born, and our husband remarried, we would always be referred to as our child's mother.
Our children have a mother and an adoptive mother these are the correct terms. Do not allow adoption agencies and the pro-adoptive community to diminish your rightful title.
That is 'mother' - 05 April 2004 - Australia


Rachel Rainey
I gave up my child for adoption in 1997 when I was 17 years old. My parents discouraged me from keeping my child, they took my car that they had given to me and kicked me out of the house. My boyfriend didn't want responsibility and stopped talking to me mostly. The adoption agency is called The Adoption Alliance and they are in San Antonio Texas. The adoption agency never informed me that I could do anything on my own with the help of welfare they only increased my feelings of inadequacy by telling all the things I couldn't afford. I started working for TWC later and found out about welfare and told the agency counselor that I didn't want to do the adoption anymore and they made me feel guilty about the decision saying that the adopted parents, Jackie and Tod, had been told that they would adopt my child and had paid my rent because of it. They said 'you don't want to be on welfare' and made it sound like a bad thing. I had a baby 3 years ago to make up for the horror I've gone thru and I decided to do it alone and planned to get myself pregnant and have a baby. The adopted parents sent me a letter a year ago and made the comment that 'it has to be wonderful being a parent. But it must be hard being a single parent, we think about that to...'. I find that statement insensitive,presumptuous,and predjudice. I decided that I hurt too much, getting their letters once a year, like opening a wound and added on the offensiveness of the letters I don't want to continue contact. I am a webpage designer now and I'd like to make a site that promotes support to young pregnant woman who are unaware of the resources available to them. I'd also like to mention my own experiences and give the name and location of the Adoption Alliance and tell what rotten service their counselors are biase and deceptive to birthmothers.
Is this all legal? Could I get sued for saying there name and telling about their unethical behavior?
I feel that they were unjust and I want to help woman feel hope and get rid of feelings of helplessness when a pregnancy happens.
Sincerely, Rachel - 05 April 2004


Webmistress comments: -  Dear Rachel, please check out www.originsusa.org and http://groups.msn.com/MostLovingOption . These are groups that you may wish to check out joining. They do a lot to help mothers keep their babies and help tell the truth about adoption.


Suze | @
My mother gave birth to a healthy baby boy at Grace Hospital in Toronto Ontario Canada - some time between 1962 and 1963 (I believe) before she gave birth to me. The day her son was born, the nurses (nuns) took him from her at birth. My mother suffered terribly from that traumatic experience. Her life was never the same after her first baby was taken from her, all because she was a young unwed mother. She used to tell me stories of her son (my brother)....she called him Robert William. She said that was his father's given names. My mother's maiden name was Graham. Her given names: Phyllis LYNN. She was born January 5th, 1944. She lived her adult life in pain, due to a broken heart until June 5th, 1990. She died too young...and I can't live my life as if hers and his didn't matter. Please, if anyone has any information about my mother's son. Please contact me! How can I go about finding him otherwise? Any information is appreciated. - 04 April 2004 - Canada


carol | @
I am searching for my husbands birth parents he was born in Indiana I think the city is muncie his birthdate is october 17 1969 any information you have I would appreciate it. thanks - 26 March 2004


Webmistress comments: -  Carol: You might try going to http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/. Click on "Search Support Sites" (on the left margin), then on the page it brings you to, scroll down and click on Indiana. A number of groups are listed by state that may be able to help. You can also try going to http://groups.msn.com/searchangels


James L White | @ | url
My sisters name is Jennifer J Scheber born in Bakersfield ca on April 16 1974 at Kern Medical. That is what she was told. Jennifer would like very much to meet her birth parents and for them to meet there grand children. Please any information call me or E-Mail me. 701-463-7246 - 21 March 2004 - Bakersfield Ca 1973 adopted baby girl


JoAnn B. | @
I never knew that there were so many others that this has happened to. I was only 15 when my parents forced me to give away my little girl.. the adoptive parents lied to me. I should have known... I'm glad I'm not the only one, I only hope that one day I will find my daughter - 19 March 2004 - New Jersey


Joss Shawyer | @ | url
I have just read Terri's article called 'Open Adoption - The Wall' on your site. What a fabulous article she has written about the scam of so called 'open' adoption. May all the bricks crumble as the wall comes down. - 13 March 2004 - New Zealand


Deryl | @
Thank you for your site. I have exhausted almost all search method possibilities and 'think' ALOT about the fact that no one seems to be searching for me. I do not think it's rocket science to make a phone call to a state agency.
Hearing from the birthmothers here gives me a sense of relief...for I feel if my life mother is not searching for me, the reasons are far more in depth than I could ever imagine.
Although it appears no one is searching for me, I will NOT give up.
I have a yearning, almost burning desire to reunite with the woman who God used as a channel to bring me into this world. I long to hear her voice again as I heard while she nourished me in her womb.
People tell me it will happen at the 'right' time...???, the right time was 33 years ago.
I am very appreciative of the home I did have, the love I did receive, the best medical attention that was given to me, the Bible stories before bedtime. But I am not appreciative of the attempt to change my identity, to erase my surname and 'slap' another one in it's place in WRITING only, my roots can never be changed, only hidden from me. - 13 March 2004 - Texas


Karen WB | @ | url
ANNOUNCING 'Adoption Healing... a path to recovery for mothers who lost children to adoption' by Joe Soll & Karen Wilson Buterbaugh
'Adoption Healing is a testament to the terrible and long-lasting injustice that was done to so many women in our recent past, when 'authorities' snatched their babies and told these mothers that they would forget... - Rickie Solinger (Wake Up Little Susie: Single Pregnancy and Race before Roe v. Wade, and Beggars and Choosers: How the Politics of Choice Shapes Adoption, Abortion, and Welfare in the U.S)

'Adoption Healing needs to carry a warning: 'Beware! Read at your own risk. Long-buried feelings are bound to surface. Not advisable to read without support.' Adoption Healing is not for the fainthearted. Some will say it's radical, and it is. But it is the very radicalness that leads you to your own truth--to the place of healing.' - Carol Schaefer (The Other Mother)
'This 'must read' leads sleep-walking mothers through painful quagmires of suppressed memories into fully-lived lives. It validates their trauma, loss and grief. Therapists can help them understand the depth of their dysfunction post-adoption. Loss of a child to adoption is horrific; readers learn that adoption isn't a viable ‘solution’ to an unplanned pregnancy. A mother can learn to deal with her pain and reclaim her motherhood... this book teaches how she can be safely led home to herself.' - Joss Shawyer (Death By Adoption)
“As an adoption reform activist, I found Adoption Healing to be the most straightforward and honest book I have ever read. The authors presentation of the material explains the myths and facts of the exiled mother’s experience in a most clear and concise manner. Adoption Healing is one of those very special books that is difficult to put down!” - Sandy Musser (I Would Have Searched Forever and To Prison With Love)
Click below for more information and to order:
http://www.AdoptionHealing.com/Moms/
If you purchase 'Adoption Healing' for Adoptees at the same time, there is a 20% discount on both books and no additional shipping cost in the US. Cost for both books is $30.32 + $5.55 Priority mail. Total $35.87 - 13 March 2004


Alison Meyer | @
I am helping my children's father search for his bparents. We had three children together and since both of us are adopted we have nothing at all to share with the boys about their medical history or what part of the world they are from. I heard I may be Irish. Dont know. Very frustrating to be in this position.
He was born: 01/13/66
California. - 12 March 2004 - Washington State


SRC | @
Last May I went to an adoption agency for help. Just like everyone else I thought I was giving them a better life. It was to be an open adoption. Pictures, videos, phone calls, visits later. All lies. I am so heartbroken and suicidal at times, I cannot believe that this in OK. I hate this country. The couple has moved and changed their phone number. My son is 6 and my daughter is 3. I miss them so much til it hurts - 09 March 2004 - HOUSTON, TX


Cheryl Jones | @
Hi,
I am a birth mom looking for her birth son. He was born in Dodge City KS. 072783, in Dodge City Regional Hospital, at 01:56 AM, Wt 7lbs. 61/2 oz. 21 in. in length. A couple that placed an ad in newspaper wanting to adopt a baby adopted him. They were from New Jersey. The lawyer that handled this was Stanley Michelman of New York and Terry Malone of Dodge City KS. The name on infant card from nursery was Johnson. The phone number in the ad was 201-583-5926. Which is now a nonworking number. I have the original ad from the newspaper. The lawyer from New York is no longer a lawyer. He is into real estate. I found his brother who is a lawyer and requested he forward info to him. But to no avail no response. I have contacted the lawyer in Dodge City KS. He told me he would see what he could find out for me. I have not heard from him either.
Cheryl Louthan Jones - 09 March 2004 - New Jersey ? Kansas?


Kathleen | @
It was my pleasure to read most of the messages on this page. I am an adoptee and have always looked forward to the day that I might meet my birthmother and her family.I have been searching for you since I'm 16yrs. old with help from my mother. I was born in Miseracordia hospital in Manhattan on October 31, 1956 last name McMahon. My mother was said to be 23yrs old at the time of my birth & single. I admire & respect her for her unselfishness and am thankful for the wonderful life I had with great parents. I would like her to know not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I have three children and would love to know our medical history. - 08 March 2004


Anna Brown | @ | url
I have just found this site and it is amazing, I lost my son to adoption under the most severe duress in ireland in 1981 I am very very lucky that we have since been reunited in nov 2000 in ireland and for that I thank god, No mother should be forced to part with her own flesh and blood, its not normal or natural and leaves a permanent scar on a birthmothers heart.
Anna Brown - 08 March 2004 - Ireland


ShaVaughn | @
I am 23 years old and a single mother to my 2 year old daughter. I live with my mom and step dad. I have no money and no life. I can't buy the things my daughter needs. My mom helps out with money but I'm taking care of her all on my own and I don't think I can do it much longer. If I don't put her up for adoption then what am I suppose to do? I love her with all my heart but I can't keep doing this on my own. I'm always stressed out and sometimes I take it out on her. Its not fair to her. - 07 March 2004 - florida


Webmistress comments: -  Dear Sha,
I appeal to you, please do not consider adoption for your daughter--it will be devastating for her (and for you) and far worse than living under less than ideal circumstances which can change over time. Have you looked into County based resources for single mothers near you? Here are a couple of sites that may give you some ideas and encouragment:

http://www.singleparentcentral.com/gov.htm Government resources for
single parents


http://www.co-abode.com/ Live with other single Mothers who want to
share a home

Finding Social Services
www.govbenefits.gov (lets you know what benefits you are most likely eligible for )
Food Stamps
www.fns.usda.gov/fsp/contactinfo/hotlines.htm
www.gettingfoodstamps.org/qualify
Child Care Assistance
www.nccic.org/statepro
Housing/Section 8
www.hud.gov/offices/pih/programs/hcv/index.cfm
Family Assistance
www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/ofa
Misc. Grants
www.grants.gov
Medicaid
www.cms.gov/medicaid/
Insurance for Children
http://www.insurekidsnow.gov/
Disability Benefit Information
http://www.disabilityinfo.gov/
Housing Loans for low income families
http://www.govbenefits.gov/jsp/BenefitOverview.jsp?benefitid=401
Job Opportunities for Low-Income Individuals
http://www.govbenefits.gov/jsp/BenefitOverview.jsp?benefitid=789
http://wdsc.doleta.gov/sga/
Head Start Program
http://www2.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/hsb/


Victoria Smith | @
I was born in Muncie IN on 6-7-60 and put up for adoption. I wonder if there was something illegal with my adoption, but can't prove anything. I never knew how much the birthmothers grieved until I came to this site. I've only known how much it hurts the adoptee to be lied to all their life. I am searching for my birthfamily and have been for the last 22 years. While I know more now, I still don't know enough to find them. Indiana has a confidential intermediary program, but it costs over $500 to go through it and I don't have the money right now because I've been unemployed for over a year now. I hope that one day I can find my birthfamily and that both sides of the family can begin to heal. - 06 March 2004 - Indiana


missy | @ | url
I'm looking for my daughter born january ,1986,
in Texas,please email me if you see this.
itsmemissy - 05 March 2004 - texas


KAREN MARIE WILLIAMS | @
I was lied to by a police chiefs wife from garland texas.she brought some papers to me and told me they where papers to keep the welfare from taking my son and putting him in a foster home.in 1978 that was not a good thing. I was in jail for writing bad checks and she scared me into signing what i thought was temporary care which turned out to be adoption papers. Now for the good news i found my son on oct 5th 2001. 20 years later. He has a wife and a baby boy. So im also a grandmother. Im glad i found him but his adopted mother has tried to lie and poisen his mind every step of the way. He is stuck in the middle and sometimes i feel things just are not ment to be found. She has money and uses that to keep him in a straight line. As her baby boy. Im a disabled ternminally ill mother i have cancer. Who is broke living off ssi. She knows this and uses it every step of the way. Please kids out there looking for your mothers we really at least i did love my son with all my heart but sometimes that just is not enough unless your ready to let go of the past and bring in the new. We do not want to take there places we just want to make a little niche for ourselfs to fit in if wanted. God speed all your searches and may that it all be what you want or expect. - 03 March 2004 - DALLAS TEXAS


monique (martin) barnfield | @
hello my name is monique barnfield. my sister and i were put up for adoption in the state of indiana in june of 1986. we are searching for our biological parents. our mother may go by the name of jacqueline hamm or jacqueline martin. our father's name is douglass martin. last time we checked they were residing in the state of indiana ( as of 2004). please help us find them and our possible siblings. we want so much to know where we came from. if you have any information please feel free to e-mail me at monique172004@yahoo.com. this will just be between the two of us. you don't have to include your name if you'd prefer to be confidential. thank you for your cooperation. it will be much needed. - 03 March 2004 - Fort Wayne, Indiana and the county of ALLEN


Donna Monacella | @
I'm an adoptee born 11/20/62 in Montreal and my adoptive mother always made me feel special and encouraged my search. I was lucky she understood that there was something missing in my life. When i was three I named my first doll Cindy Ann(the name my mother gave me at birth) and my adoptive mother was floored. How could I have retained that info she wondered. I recently lost my adoptive mother and have been searching for my birth mother for more than 10 years now. I often lose hope then I'll here about some wonderful reunion and start in ernest all over again. To all you birthmothers out there. We are apart of you and without you we will never be whole. Please find us and never give up. Thank you for listening - 02 March 2004 - vermont/alaska


Alison Meyer | @
I think that this is a great web site, and I am adopted. I was lucky enough to be adopted with my twin brother into the same family in 1965. I found my birth mother but she said she did not want to meet us. I know it was because of her husband and his attitude toward us. He wanted nothing to do with us either and actually was angry about us contacting him. Anyway, I did find a sister who had been given up the year before my brother and me, and cannot believe how much this woman, my mother, had to indure in her life. She is only now in her 50s and I pray that one day she will change her mind and try to meet me, my twin, and our sister. - 01 March 2004 - Washington State, Pacific Northwest


Manuela | @ | url
Hi,i am looking for my boyfriend his B mom.He olny know some little things...he was borm 6/14/1965 in Toronto,On.
His B mom gif him the name David Alexander Aim....but he is not sure if that is her sur name. - 27 February 2004 - Toronto,Canada


Tisha | @
I'm a twice scorned birth-mom. I live with regret and soul-wrenching grief and seek somewhere to get involved. I'm glad I stumbled upon these pages and look forward to getting active with reform. - 25 February 2004 - Atlanta, GA


Irene Carnahan | @
I gave up a son in 1970 from a catholic Home for unwed mothers. I now realize I was coerced and I was weak and I was scared. I was abandoned by my mother (not physically) for a lot of my life, but at that time she was invisible. She denied and never spoke of my TROUBLE. Neil was never named as a grandchild. His birthday was Feb 12. I love him. - 24 February 2004 - New York


Irene Carnahan | @
I gave up a baby in 1970 at a catholic home for unwed mothers. I was hidden at different brothers' homes before that. I was (but did not realize at the time) coerced and told what to do for the well being of the baby. Give him up. I did. No one was there to help me. My mother denied the entire drama. He was never considered a grandchild. It was in New York through catholic Charities. Closed adoption. His birthday was Feb 12. Wish I knew if he were even alive. - 24 February 2004


Tricia | @
I found my mother after wondering where she was for as long as I can remember. For those of you who are looking for your moms, please continue the search! This site is such a wonderful inspiration to me.
Please keep in mind that as long as we honor adoptive relationships by pretending they are family, we are continuing to support adoption. As long as we support adoption, we will continue to perpetuate the abuse done by the act of adoption itself. Stop pretending adopters are family and start honoring natural families, today! And keep reading and contributing to this site. Recommend it to your friends, true family, and neighbors. Write letters to your local newspaper. Join anti-adoption groups. Donate money and time to helping natural families to stay together. Let's stop adoption NOW! - 24 February 2004 - Van Nuys, CA


TERRI | @
LOOKING FOR BIRTH MOTHER.I WAS BORN ON JUNE 24,1964 IN HAMILTON,OHIO OR CIN. OHIO I AM A FEMALE. - 23 February 2004 - OHIO


Webmistress comments: -  Terri: You might try going to http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/. Click on "Search Support Sites" (on the left margin), then on the page it brings you to, scroll down and click on Ohio. A number of groups are listed by state that may be able to help. You can also try going to http://groups.msn.com/searchangels


Sandy Musser | @ | url
Hi Friends:
Just wanted to congratulate you on this wonderful website. Being an 'old' birthmother and old activist, it's great to see the work going forward. Continued best wishes. - 19 February 2004 - Cape Coral, FL


Jonathan | @
HI, ,my name is Jon and I am 19 yrs. old. I am looking for my mother. I was taken from her when I was four and haven't heard or seen her since. Can anyone give me any information on how to go about finding her? Everyone wants money, money that I don't have. If you can help me will you please email me. This is a friends email but she will give it to me. Thank you - 18 February 2004 - Missouri


Sarah Bourne | @
Do you have any idea where I can get more inforamtion about the Florence Crittenden home in Cleveland. My birthmother was there in 69/70. We have been successfully reunited and share an incredible relationship that has existed fo 33 years, despite not being together for the first 31. I am EAGER to get all the information that I can about the home and the brave women who were there - 16 February 2004 - Cleveland Ohio


asaba owerri
i love this page. keep it up - 16 February 2004 - lagos


Charlotte Henderson | @
I gave my son up for adoption in 1997. I was also coerced and lied to. Lawyers are not trust worthy, they are in it for the money. In my case the lady that adopted my child saw that I was young and nieve and took advantage of me. People that want your child will tell you anything you want to hear to get your child. I was promised visitation and told all the things I wanted to here. I did what I thought at the time was the best for my child. I did not get any counseling about adoption and the after effects, noone wants to tell you how bad you are going to miss your child. Young mothers that are thinking about adoption PLEASE get some counseling from someone other than who is trying to get your baby. I recently got saved and have put my problem in the Lords hands. If you are young, single or may not be financially stable to keep your child, ask God for help, he can work miracles so that YOU can keep your child. Keep this scripter in mind 'I can do all things through Christ which strenghtens me.' Best of luck to the ones searching and the ones trying to make that big descission about adoption. There is no such thing as open adoption, once you sign those papers, most of the time thats it. No turning back! If you would like to here more about my adoption experience or want some advice contact me at adamsgal71@aol.com - 09 February 2004 - Tuscaloosa, AL


Marilyn | @
FEBRUARY 09, 1971 my daughter in law was given up for adoption. Her birth mother was at HOMESTEAD in Fort Worth Texas. She is desperately needing to find her mother. If anyone has any helpful info, please contact me. gottago472004@yahoo.com. Marilyn - 07 February 2004 - Texas


Carol McCann | @ | url
I was 15 years old at the time of the babies birth I lived in a drinking, angry home my parents would not sign for me to keep the baby so on the 4th day after the birth I thought it was best for the baby so I signed the dreaded papers my heart has acked ever since I named him Kevin Lewis (Wanlin) (my maiden name) he was born January 16 ,1964 at 11:43am at the Misercordia hospital Edmonton Alberta The doctors name was Fong she was a female. I have discovered there is mental illness in my family on my side I have 3 more children and one has a serious mental illness.I worry that he may also be affect or his children and may need to know this information .Should you ever read this please know I have always loved you and prayed that you had a good home with love Mom - 04 February 2004 - Agassiz B.C. Canada.


Elizabeth Case | @ | url
I'd like to know if there has been any international outreach on this subject.
I adopted a boy from Bulgaria in 2000. For various reasons, I believe our son was 'purchased' from his birth parents by the orphanage director. I was not made aware of this until a year after he was living with us.
If it happened in the United States, you know it is happening today to keep the coffers of the agencies full. The international adoption industry is all about sales and finding PAPs with deep pockets.
I wish we could find out more about these un-named birth families.
Thank you for having this site. It should be a must-read before anybody thinks of adopting. - 04 February 2004 - New York State


Linda | @
11 months after I was born, my mother gave me up for adoption to her aunt. When the adoption went through, my name was completely changed. For 11 months I assume I was called one name day in and day out, and then when my adopted mother took over I was then called something else.
I'm curious to see what kind of studies have been done with regards to the effects this has one infants. I've always felt (even before I was aware of this) that my name was 'foreign' to me and disliked my name tremendously.
This is only one of the many effects I've experienced in being an adopted child. Your website is right on target.
Thank you. - 03 February 2004 - Bay Area, California