thinking about what I went through as a pregnant teenager wells up my
eyes with tears. My feelings were used against me. If I
kept my baby, I wouldn't have a future, my baby wouldn't have a future,
my family wouldn't support us or accept us. At least that is what
I was led to believe.
is not hard to manipulate a teenager who is trying to do what is best.
You are not independent, you don't know what is available to you, you feel
guilty for the "burden" you have put on others if you are "selfish"
enough to keep your baby.
feel sorrow every day of my life. I don't know what my son is
going through, but I know he has his own issues to deal with.
most shocking thing, I found out years later. I had some resentment
towards my mom until I found out that the adoption agency preyed on
her feelings and manipulated her as well. She was told that if
I kept my baby that it would ruin her relationship with me.
agencies prey on the unselfish, compassionate, empathetic and well-meaning
people who want to "Do the right thing." Who better to raise their
children than those who are unselfish, compassionate, empathetic and
well meaning and want to do what is right? All they need is emotional
support and truthful information on available resources. Young
mothers are made fearful of a dead-end future. Making us speculate
on a potentially scary future.
don't know the future and we don't know the future.
decisions based on what you know, not on what you don't know.
And don't be afraid to ask for help. "I am a mother and this is
my baby! What do we do next?" That is what I wish I had
said. My family was silent. Not because they weren't supportive
but, because they didn't want to unduly influence me. I had no
idea. Our reaction should be one of joy for the blessing of this
new life joining the family. The assumption should be that you
will raise your own children.
only comfort I have is that I tried to do what was right. How
wrong I was.