"birthmoms" Exploited By Adoption
   "The horrors of war pale beside the loss of a child." - Joe Soll, C.S.W.

DISEMBABYMENT -  How Our Babies Were Taken 
"Why BIRTHMOTHER Means BREEDER" by Diane Turski
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"It is not hard to manipulate a teenager who is trying to do what is best." - Shauna

Just thinking about what I went through as a pregnant teenager wells up my eyes with tears.  My feelings were used against me.  If I kept my baby, I wouldn't have a future, my baby wouldn't have a future, my family wouldn't support us or accept us.  At least that is what I was led to believe. 

It is not hard to manipulate a teenager who is trying to do what is best.  You are not independent, you don't know what is available to you, you feel guilty for the "burden" you have put on others if you are "selfish" enough to keep your baby.

I feel sorrow every day of my life.  I don't know what my son is going through, but I know he has his own issues to deal with.

The most shocking thing, I found out years later.  I had some resentment towards my mom until I found out that the adoption agency preyed on her feelings and manipulated her as well.  She was told that if I kept my baby that it would ruin her relationship with me. 

Adoption agencies prey on the unselfish, compassionate, empathetic and well-meaning people who want to "Do the right thing."  Who better to raise their children than those who are unselfish, compassionate, empathetic and well meaning and want to do what is right?  All they need is emotional support and truthful information on available resources.  Young mothers are made fearful of a dead-end future.  Making us speculate on a potentially scary future. 

They don't know the future and we don't know the future. 

Make decisions based on what you know, not on what you don't know.  And don't be afraid to ask for help.  "I am a mother and this is my baby!  What do we do next?"  That is what I wish I had said.  My family was silent.  Not because they weren't supportive but, because they didn't want to unduly influence me.  I had no idea.  Our reaction should be one of joy for the blessing of this new life joining the family.  The assumption should be that you will raise your own children.

The only comfort I have is that I tried to do what was right.  How wrong I was.


 
 
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