I am a first mother, I was forced to give my son up for adoption on July 23 1988. I was fourteen at the time. I never told my mother that I was pregnant ... she did however find out three weeks before I gave birth to my son. My mother was working in Quesnel B.C. at the time and she was under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I followed her to Quesnel following my first ultrasound -- where I was not allowed to even view my child in my belly.

When I got to Quesnel, my mother brought me to a doctor. The doctor asked me what I planned to do with my child. I said that I wanted to keep the baby. He said that it would be best if I gave my child up for adoption that I could not possibly care for an infant and that I would be doing the best for my child and for myself. Being young and naive, I believed doctors were God and that they knew what I should do ... he was after all looking out for my best interests. He then produced three resumes of prospective parents and told me to pick a couple that appealed to me ... and since I was to give birth soon I should choose the couple here and now. My mother at the time was heavy in her addiction and could only agree with the doctor.

I remember looking at those resumes and crying, for no one in my life was willing to help me care for my child. I picked a couple that I thought most resembled me and the father. I also picked the couple because they had another child adopted as well, and I wanted my son to grow up in a family with siblings, for I come from a large family. I went into labor that night, still unsure of what my decision was.

After I delivered my son was carried directly out of the room ... I did not even have time to look at him. They did, however, tell me that I had a baby boy and his weight. They then brought me to the other end of the hospital. I remember in the morning hearing a baby cry ... though I am not sure if that was possible for I was not even close to the maternity ward. I asked the nurse if I could see my baby, she told me that it was best if I never see my son. I was then told that I could go home.

My mother come to pick me up from the hospital ... I was still dazed from the heavy medication they gave me. When I was being discharged they told me that I had to sign a piece of paper signing my baby over to the doctor. When my mother asked they said that was proper procedure. I remember looking down at this piece of paper ... it was yellow and so small -- perhaps half the size of a regular piece of paper. On it was written BABY HUNT-JOHNSON. I was so angry at that, I crossed it out and put his name: Daniel Luke Hunt. I then was discharged without anyone telling me how to care for myself after the birth.

I went into severe post-partum depression, and I don't remember the time frame. I think about three weeks after I gave birth I was called into the office of a lady lawyer in Quesnel. I do not remember what she had me sign, and my mother was not allowed in. I was never told about the adoption process, or had any information on my son. I am now actively searching for any information on my son even though the system says I am not "legally" entitled to it. It saddens me that the system could so fail someone so trusting and naive ... I wish I could go back in time ... I would have taken my son and ran. Thank you for letting me share my story

Melissa MacDougall