My name is Katharine.
I am a young, unwed mother, 16 years of age. I, too, feel the pain
of losing my first born. I love her very, very much. I gave birth
to my daughter, Erin Michelle, on January 7th 2002. I remember my
first experience, when they first gave me the looks and stares. I
went to tour the hospital that I would be giving birth in, all the
nurses -- mean old women -- just stared at me. I heard their whispers
from down the hall. That was just the beginning, then came deciding
what would happen to my child.
My parents refused to help me raise her. My boyfriend of two years
would abandon me if I kept her. My attorney told me the law would
take her away if I kept her. I was lost. I was in a whirlpool of social
workers, doctors, parents, and my boyfriend telling me that adoption
was the unselfish thing to do. I was totally and completely brainwashed.
These were adults, didn't they know what was best? I was wrong, dead
On January 7th, I put my daughter in the arms of her adopters.
I had a horrible mess of tears in my eyes, she was my flesh and blood!
She was the beautiful creation of my boyfriend and I, she was everything
Now days have gone by and I sit in my room and cry. I am her mother
and she needs to be with me, I love her and feel totally lost without
her to love.
Mother and daughter belong together. Now I can't help but push my
boyfriend away when he tries to hug me, and I snap so easily at him
on the phone. I haven't bothered being polite and nice to our attorney,
after all I listened to the people I trusted, the people who were
supposed to help me, not break me!!! I feel lost without her....