"birthmoms" Exploited By Adoption
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My child was abducted by the system
by Brandy Bottini-Elkins
 
Hello - I am a natural mother whose child was abducted by the system in 1999.  My daughter was born prematurely at 30 weeks and I was very ill with toxemia and prenclampsia. After I gave birth through an emergency c-section, my family and I had several terrible fights about what I should do.  They thought I should put the baby up for adoption and I did not want to, I was going to keep her.  As I have been raising her older brother by myself, I was going to keep her as well.  She is my treasure just as her brother is, and in my heart I knew that I could do no less.  I asked the agency my parents had contacted to back off, and that they were pressuring me, but that didn't happen.

The director of the agency is friends with my mother and so rather than doing as I asked and leaving me alone, they with my parents' help faked my signature on the relinquishment papers. I took the matter to court in September after much argument with the agency about the validity of my signature but they didn't care nor did they care that the couple they put my daughter with lives only 5 minutes from my home. The judge only let me present a small amount of my evidence.  I had to represent myself as I could not find an attorney in our town to represent me at all in the matter, since they were either friends of the agency's director or they had been contacted by the adoptive couple. 

So on September 9, 1999, my child was abducted by the system and I was told to let this nice married couple have my child. I tried to appeal but that didn't work either, no one would listen, no one cared about the truth or that something very wrong had occurred. 

Up until recently, I just existed.   I hurt so much that I didn't know if I had the will to live.  I got lucky though and met someone wonderful and we married and now have a son who is 4 months old, and that eases a little of the pain but it also magnifies it as well as I think of all the firsts I missed and will miss.  I am trying to heal what is left of me so that I can help someone and keep them from making the mistakes I made and showing them that they can keep from having to adopt their child out to someone else.  I so much want to also work to reform the system to get rid of agencies like the one that stole my baby and institute waiting periods in all states so that a natural mother can change her mind as is her right. I sincerely hope my story will help someone and show them that they are not alone.

A Continuation of my Story:

Hi All - You were kind enough to publish my story on your website and there is more now. For the last year I have been trying to get pictures and updates of my daughter with no success, then I was told by the adoption agency that on her 2nd birthday I would have pictures. Well, Saturday was her birthday and I still have no pictures. In the meantime ABORN an adoption activism group is going to publish my story and I am going to be interviewed on The Don and Carla Show about my story on July 28th and August 7th (2001). My story still does not have a happy ending and I don't know that it ever will but at least I am not giving up the fight.

Sincerely,
Brandy Bottini-Elkins
Life Mother of Amberlie Jeanette 06-23-99

 
     

 

 

 
 
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