"Birthmothers" Open Adoption Stories
   "Adoption practice works on the premise that, in order to save the child,
   one must first destroy its mother." - Dian Wellfare, founder of Origins Inc.


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Married vs. "unmarried" - Pregnancy, Birth and Falling in Love with Your Baby


Surrogacy, Traditional Surrogate Mothers, Egg Donors - What the Baby Brokers Won't Tell You

Considering surrogacy or donating your eggs? BEWARE. For decades single women have been used as if they were some sort of equipment producing babies to be sold into the adoption market. The serious long-term effects on mother and child separated at birth were known, but ignored in the zeal for 1) getting babies for infertile customers and 2) maintaining a society with a perfect look (by annhilating single parent families).

Today the words "anger", "disenfranchised grief" "depression", "rage", "loss", "anguish" are all commonly used by "adopted children" (now adult adoptees) and mothers who have experienced the loss of their own son or daughter to adoption. Yet there are always new generations of young people naive to the system, who can be taken advantage of in the most horrendous way, by convincing them to surrender their newborn sons and daughters to adoption.

The Growing Market For Babies

As STDs, overweight, environmental toxins and use of unhealthy substances increased, fertility decreased and the market for healthy babies grew. Today, the increased numbers of women and men delaying childbearing until they are in their 30s or even 40s has increased the adoption and infertility market even more. Gay people and singles also claim to have a "right to adopt". In addition to taking advantage of single parents experiencing surprise pregnancies, people are contracting with naive women to make babies for a fee, through "surrogacy".

What is the "Traditional Surrogate Mother"?

The woman referred to as a "traditional surrogate mother" is not a "surrogate" (replacement mother) - she is the true mother of her baby which developed from her egg. The buyer of the baby is the real surrogate, the replacement mother. Babies know their mothers smell, heartbeat and the sound of their mothers voice. They seek the comfort and security of their mother's arms. They suffer if their mothers are gone for too long. A baby does not understand a contract - she only knows her mother is missing.

Is Egg "Donation" Healthy for Women or Babies?

Egg "donation" depletes a woman's limited supply of eggs faster than normal, increasing her risk of early infertility. The methods used to increase egg production for harvesting may impact the woman and put her at risk for disease. As for the baby - she will be cut off from at least one side of her real family. She will probably be lied to about her identity and feel she does not fit in or feel connected to the purchasing "family". Imagine what it might be like to be in her place and to discover you were SOLD by your mother.

Is Gestational Surrogacy OK?

In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate is not the real mother because the baby originates from another woman's egg. When born and transferred to the owners, the baby will suffer the loss of "the only environment he has ever known". The "gestational surrogate" may not suffer as much from the loss of a child that was not really her own. Yet she risks her health and perhaps her relationships to produce a baby for buyers. While the brokers and "indended parents" lure women into surrogacy by calling them "angels" the truth is that agreeing to "surrogacy" will lower a woman's status to about the same status as a lump of coal or a rock. Like the "birthmother" or prostitute, the "surrogate" is not seen as a human being, but as equipment to be used and discarded.

Why Do Countries Like United States Allow Surrogacy and Egg Donation?

In the United States, the buying and selling of small human beings and the raw materials to make them is legal in many states. There is even "reproductive tourism" to the United States by people from those countries that protect their own citizens from being used. Many people in America believe a baby "won't know the difference" but perhaps it is more true that a baby can't formulate the words to say "It's not fair" or "It's pure evil, you assholes." As for the mother who has sold her child, few people would listen to her and acknowledge her suffering. If she is suffering so badly that she commits suicide, no one will even notice. If the buyers are happy with their purchase, then fine. If they are unhappy with their purchase, they can just dump the purchasee into foster care or get a nanny to care for her and be done with it. Perhaps they can try again to get the "baby of their dreams".

 

Considering surrogacy or donating your eggs? GET THE FACTS. For decades single women have been used as if they were some sort of equipment producing babies to be sold into the adoption market. These mothers and their children have suffered from the loss of true family. And now naive women are being encouraged to contract for planned baby abandonment. It's a tragedy to take advantage of women and children like this.

 

 
 

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