"Birthmothers" Open Adoption Stories
   "Adoption practice works on the premise that, in order to save the child,
   one must first destroy its mother." - Dian Wellfare, founder of Origins Inc.

Domestic Infant Adoption Facts  
"Why BIRTHMOTHER Means BREEDER" by Diane Turski
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Independent Adoption, Private Adoption Agencies - Why Not?

Are you experiencing an "unplanned" pregnancy or is your single ("unwed") daughter pregnant? Would you like to know about the pros and cons of independent adoption or private (or church-sponsored) adoption agency?

In countries like Australia, adoption is generally regulated and handled through government agencies. Prospective adopters are not selected until after a baby has been born AND many weeks have passed (allowing the mother to recover from birth before making a life-altering decision) AND both parents have relinquished their parental rights. (See Current Adoption Policy and Practice -a Comparison between North America and Australia by Evelyn Robinson, MA, Dip Ed, BSW )

The way infant adoptions are handled in Australia protects the prospective adoptive parents from having their hopes dashed when family members decide to keep their family together. It also protects the natural family members and their child from unnecessary separation. The professionals who handle adoptions do not profit in any way from an increased number of "transactions" and babies are not treated as commodities.

However, in United States, there are "private" adoptions in which individuals who are hoping to get a baby independently try to locate a "birthmother" and convince her to make her baby "available for adoption" (turning her child into an orphan on paper by legally abandoning him). There are also private adoption agencies and adoption attorneys. These agencies stay in business by finding babies for people to adopt. Many agencies profit directly from each infant "adoption" - from what is really baby brokering. Others get donations for the "charitable" work of finding babies for customers. With so many people willing to pay good money for babies, most agencies offer "open" adoption as a way to lure mothers to surrender babies they would otherwise keep and raise themselves. Whether an adoption is open or closed, adoption has serious consequences - somebody's gonna lose their family member. Whether the adoption is open or closed, there is no guarantee to the natural family that the adopters will remain friendly or the adoption remain "open".

Naive mothers, fathers and grandparents-to-be may be drawn in by the slick sales pitches of the "professionals" who "counsel" and manipulate them toward surrending their child, all the while making them believe surrendering parental rights was their "plan" and their "choice". The natural parents and grandparents are never told the truth - that a mother and baby separated at birth will be affected for life. And people who adopt through these businesses may be lied to about many things as well. As time goes by (and that cute little baby grows older) they may find that adoption of an unrelated child is not at all what they thought it would be.

Many of the people hoping to adopt are looking for a baby to use as a replacement for their own baby that died or as a replacement for a child they could not concieve or carry to term. In that case, the child is usually forced to pretend her own family does not exist or is of no importance to her, to keep the adopting people happy.

But how often do those seemingly "nice" people "hoping to adopt" through independent agencies and adoption attorneys turn out to be drug pushers, child molesters or child pronographers? The real family is never advised to hire a Private Investigator to check out the prospective adopters and yet a thinking person might think it to be of utmost importance. A "home study" is really only a formality and does little to protect the child.

So if you are an expectant mother or father - or your daughter is pregnant - think twice about putting your baby up for adoption. Single pregnancy need not be turned into a crisis. Try to find real help and keep your family together. It's a tragedy that so many Americans are being scammed by individual prospective adopters or by independent adoption agenices.



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