"Birthmothers" Open Adoption Stories
   "Adoption practice works on the premise that, in order to save the child,
   one must first destroy its mother." - Dian Wellfare, founder of Origins Inc.

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dear birthmother letters


Married vs. "unmarried" - Pregnancy, Birth and Falling in Love with Your Baby


Why The Media Hates Us
By Carole H.

I've been wondering about the media and the slant they always seem to adopt (there's that word again) when dealing with triad issues.  It's puzzled me for a long time.  You would expect that, being the liberal advocates they are, they would be supporters of the wronged side in this triangle, namely the natural mother.  I just couldn't understand this deviation from their usual modus operandi. 

A big light bulb went off last night at a fund raising dinner I attended last night.  By the luck of the draw, I was seated at a table with members of the media (TV and Press).  To my amazement, the conversation turned to the recent discovery of one couple's adopted daughter's natural mother.  Deja Vu all over again.  I kept my mouth shut at the beginning of the conversation (for a change) to see where the thread (have to stop spending so much time on this machine) would lead.  To my amazement, EVERY couple at the table chimed in on the conversation with comments relative to how they would react if their adopted children ever wanted to search for their natural mothers. There were four media couples at this table and they all had adopted children!!  Does that tell us anything or what?!  If these people represent a media tendency to adopt, no wonder we're having problems with public relations.

Needless to say, after I had gathered all the information I wanted, I entered the conversation with a bomb!  Said very sweetly, "Would you like to know how a natural mother feels about this subject?"  :>))))))

Later, after the porter mopped all the blood from the floor, we all did manage to have a very strained dialog for the rest of the meal.  I think they were amazed that they were actually breaking bread with their worst enemy who not only ate without using her fingers, but could also maintain an intelligent conversation. 

As one of them said, "But you're not the usual run-of-the-mill Birthmother!" 

"Oh, but I am, and there are millions more just like me and we're mad, so prepare yourself," I said. 

I would give anything to hear the conversations in those cars on the way home.

Carol H.
First mother to Jessica 5/10/61
Reunited with Deni on 12/31/97


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