"WHY THIS WEBSITE?"
It is up to each person to make up their own minds about
adoption. However, many expectant mothers - especially
young, single women - are still being told the same fairy-tales
that many of us were told years ago in order for the adoption
industry to procure our babies for "infertile" couples.
this website, we wish to present the honest truth about
what adoption can lead to, in order to provide some balance
to the white-washed image of "the perfect solution" that
adoption has. If an expectant mother is considering
adoption, then she should be aware of the realities of it.
So should potential adopters. And adoptees
should be aware that, in many cases, they were not "given
away" willingly by their first mothers.
"WHY DO YOU
USE THE WORD "birthmother" IN YOUR SITE?"
This website exists to present information, to educate mothers-to-be
about what adoption REALLY means for them and their babies.
In order for this site to be found, we have to take-into-account
search engines and common search terms.
in order to get "found" by search engines, a page has to
contain the "search terms" that the reader will use in a
search-engine. There are two words that someone looking
into the issue of adoption and its impact on families would
search on: "adoption" and "birthmother."
Thus these terms are in the page name, title, keywords,
and page description.
although the term "birthmother" is a derogatory phrase,
this website contains it only as a concession to search-engines.
And hopefully, one day, this will change.
IS "FIRST MOMS ACTION"?
We are a group of 20 natural mothers, most of us in reunion,
who have lost children to adoption. We are sick of hearing
the adoption industry's propaganda about how we did such
as "selfless and noble" act when we have found
our children damaged and the adopters wanting nothing to
do with us. They want our children, but prefer that we remain
invisible. We are also sick of hearing that other women
are being told the same lies that we were told when our
children were taken: that the grief will go away, that our
children will be better off without us, etc. No child loves
his mother for surrendering him to adoption. No child wants
to feel "abandoned."
"THIS GROUP IS AGAINST ALL ADOPTIONS"
No. The kinds of adoption we are against are: 1) Adoptions
that include the legal fiction that the child is another
person "as if born to" the adoptive parnets with their names
on the birth certificate claiming that they gave birth when
they did not. This type of adoption requires the child to
give up the name they were born with, and to consider the
adopters the true family and the natural family as "breeding
stock" only, and 2) Adoptions where coercion, fraud,
and force are used to procure a coerced or uninformed surrender.
3) Adoptions where there is no legally-enforcable guarantee
given to the natural parents that they will be able to maintain
contact and unsupervised visitation wtih their children.
was once a service to children to provide homes to orphans.
Now it is a service to infertile adults to provide them
with surrogate children. The children lose.
The natural families lose. The winners are agencies,
facilitators, and adoptors.
a group, we are not against the adoption of orphans by other
members of their extended families as long as birth records
are not altered and sealed.
also Adoption FAQ