"Birthmothers" Open Adoption Stories
   "Adoption practice works on the premise that, in order to save the child,
   one must first destroy its mother." - Dian Wellfare, founder of Origins Inc.


Domestic Infant Adoption Facts  
"Why BIRTHMOTHER Means BREEDER" by Diane Turski
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dear birthmother letters

 

Married vs. "unmarried" - Pregnancy, Birth and Falling in Love with Your Baby


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"WHY THIS WEBSITE?"


It is up to each person to make up their own minds about adoption.  However, many expectant mothers - especially young, single women - are still being told the same fairy-tales that many of us were told years ago in order for the adoption industry to procure our babies for "infertile" couples.

With this website, we wish to present the honest truth about what adoption can lead to, in order to provide some balance to the white-washed image of "the perfect solution" that adoption has.  If an expectant mother is considering adoption, then she should be aware of the realities of it.  So should potential adopters.  And adoptees should be aware that, in many cases, they were not "given away" willingly by their first mothers.
 


"WHY DO YOU USE THE WORD "birthmother" IN YOUR SITE?"


This website exists to present information, to educate mothers-to-be about what adoption REALLY means for them and their babies.  In order for this site to be found, we have to take-into-account search engines and common search terms. 

Thus, in order to get "found" by search engines, a page has to contain the "search terms" that the reader will use in a search-engine.  There are two words that someone looking into the issue of adoption and its impact on families would search on:  "adoption" and "birthmother."    Thus these terms are in the page name, title, keywords, and page description.

Yes, although the term "birthmother" is a derogatory phrase, this website contains it only as a concession to search-engines.  And hopefully, one day, this will change. 

 

WHAT IS "FIRST MOMS ACTION"?


We are a group of 20 natural mothers, most of us in reunion, who have lost children to adoption. We are sick of hearing the adoption industry's propaganda about how we did such as "selfless and noble" act when we have found our children damaged and the adopters wanting nothing to do with us. They want our children, but prefer that we remain invisible. We are also sick of hearing that other women are being told the same lies that we were told when our children were taken: that the grief will go away, that our children will be better off without us, etc. No child loves his mother for surrendering him to adoption. No child wants to feel "abandoned."


"THIS GROUP IS AGAINST ALL ADOPTIONS"


No. The kinds of adoption we are against are: 1) Adoptions that include the legal fiction that the child is another person "as if born to" the adoptive parnets with their names on the birth certificate claiming that they gave birth when they did not. This type of adoption requires the child to give up the name they were born with, and to consider the adopters the true family and the natural family as "breeding stock" only, and 2) Adoptions where coercion, fraud, and force are used to procure a coerced or uninformed surrender. 3) Adoptions where there is no legally-enforcable guarantee given to the natural parents that they will be able to maintain contact and unsupervised visitation wtih their children.

Adoption was once a service to children to provide homes to orphans. Now it is a service to infertile adults to provide them with surrogate children.  The children lose.  The natural families lose.  The winners are agencies, facilitators, and adoptors.

As a group, we are not against the adoption of orphans by other members of their extended families as long as birth records are not altered and sealed.

See also Adoption FAQ

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(birth-) Mothers Exploited By Adoption
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