"Failed Adoption" and "Birthmother Scams"
- What is the Preventative Solution?
Picture this: A mother or father (probably both of them) have decided
to take responsibility and raise their own child. Ordinarily, this
would be considered ideal, but in modern American society, it is
considered by some to be a "failed adoption". How odd.
Rather than saying the mother "came to her senses in time"
people claim she is scamming some stranger out of their baby.
They don't call the mother her child's actual mother, either. People
say the prospective baby buyer is the "real mother" -
and the mother herself is referred to as a "birthmother"
or "birth object" even in advance of the transaction.
And while mom is considered to be some sort of baby manufacturing
equipment, dad is usually completely ignored.
Why Is It a "Failure" When a Baby Remains
With Her Family?
It is NOT a failure when family members stay together. Even the
adoption industry may in some cases try to keep siblings together
- but then I guess if they can profit by doing it many adoption
agencies and attorneys - and state social workers - will think nothing
of separating them. Even in cases where they claim they try to keep
siblings together one might wonder - wouldn't it be nice to keep
the kids with their mother, father, grandparents and other family
members if at all possible?
Siblings, it seems are somewhat important, but grandpa (for example)
is NOT considered to be of any value at all. What is grandpa? He
is just another "birth object", meant to be discarded
in favor of the unrelated people hoping to get a baby to use.
With infant adoptions, it is rare that any family member is actually
proven to have abused their child. Most of the moms are between
20 and 24 years old, and a great many are in college and are responsible,
intelligent people. College students "produce" just the
kind of healthy intelligent babies people most like to buy. While
the people adopting claim "all the 'birthmothers' are drug-addicted
anyway", most of the adoptive baby buyers ensure that the "birth
object" they use is screened for drug use, so they don't have
The Solution to "Failed Adoption" For Adoptive People,
Natural Families and Their Children?
People who adopt surely must get frustrated. They are reduced to
evaluating "birthmothers" as if they were evaluating which
big screen television to buy. Then they get "matched"
with an expectant mother and father prior to their child being born
- prior to the parents relinquishing parental rights - which can't
help but get the prospective adopter's hopes up. And yet a mother
and father have every right to keep their child. And a child surely
has a right to her true family as well.
The obvious solution to so-called "birthmother scams"
and "failed adoptions" is to change the laws so that prospective
adoptive people are not selected or "matched" with the
parents of the child they hope to get for adoption until after the
parental rights have already been surrendered - by both mom and
Of course, that would mean NOT scamming the "birth objects"
- and THAT would mean getting fewer babies - and so the "failed
>> Return to Domestic Infant Adoption