"Birthmothers" Open Adoption Stories
   "Adoption practice works on the premise that, in order to save the child,
   one must first destroy its mother." - Dian Wellfare, founder of Origins Inc.

Domestic Infant Adoption Facts  
"Why BIRTHMOTHER Means BREEDER" by Diane Turski
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dear birthmother letters


Married vs. "unmarried" - Pregnancy, Birth and Falling in Love with Your Baby


Quotes from Adoptive "Parents" - the real customers of adoption "services"

BEFORE and AFTER They Get Your Baby


BEFORE They Get Your Baby:

See "Dear BirthMother.Com" for classic examples of the sweet, enticing lures that predatory adopters use for obtaining babies. These letters are designed to build trust, to make you feel "special" for considering adoption, for giving them 'the ultimate gift." To make you believe that they are the "perfect parents" for your baby.

AFTER They Get Your Baby:

"Make that mother look like a Saint. Then blind-side her, she won't know what hit her. When I had to be NICE to [the] girls' mothers I just about died inside, but once the termination was over, I just told her what a piece of crap she was. I don't know your story. But, I will pray that you get to keep [her] child."- anonymous adopter shares her knowledge of adoption tactics

"Ramsay has only one mother, Karen, and one father, me. ... Ramsay shall remain an integral part of my family and shall not be 'shared' in any way, shape or form." - adoptive father in a very cruel email to a reunited natural mother in response to her mentioning that their 21-yr-old son now had 4 loving parents - October 16, 2001.

"Being a resident of one of those 18 states (that have supposed legally enforceable Open Adoption Agreements) I can tell you that there are enough loopholes in the "open adoption" law to make it almost unenforcable. Example: Our adoption agreement with M's birthmother clearly states that if she ever brings legal action against us the contact agreement is null and void. Translation: If we decided to cut contact with her, her only legal recourse would be to file a civil suit against us. But in doing so she would be nullifying the original agreement that she signed. She might be awarded some money (though doubtful) but there would no longer be a legally binding contact agreement." - An adoptive father's post from an adoption board.

"Giving your child to a stranger is NOT natural!" - adoptive mother on alt.adoption.

"... were you very young and gave a child up for adoption and realized you made a mistake. Did you honestly feel at a young age you could handle the responsibility of careing for a child. Or do you feel the system screwed you. I know your theory is short term problem for a permanent solution, but hey get real...a 14 - 15 yr old girl being upset about a temporary problem to later cry WOLF." - "Hotdiggity" on MSN Adoption Insights.

Regarding Telling a Child That He or She is Adopted (from http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/other/nswlrc/rpt69/00132.html):

"I have never told my daughter that she is adopted, and I know she would be devastated. It was my husband's dying wish, that she would never know, that he was not her real father."

"[W]e have raised two children from the tender ages of 6 weeks of age and 3 weeks of age respectively. They are now in their 30's. Our family have not been told of their adoption as in that era we were advised it was our decision to make. "

"When my husband and I adopted our baby son in 1955 we were given absolute assurance that no information would ever be released as to him or our whereabouts, we therefore chose NOT to tell him he was adopted."

"I am 83 and have two adoptive children, neither of whom know that they are adopted. When these children were adopted back in the 1940s we were advised by the Social Workers, Doctors also the Government authority NOT to reveal this to them as there were sinister connotations with these children, ie. Children of murderers, Children of prostitutes, Children of people in asylums, Children of unmarried women, etc. so I have never revealed these intimate and personal details to my children."


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