"Birthmothers" Open Adoption Stories
   "Adoption practice works on the premise that, in order to save the child,
   one must first destroy its mother." - Dian Wellfare, founder of Origins Inc.

Domestic Infant Adoption Facts  
"Why BIRTHMOTHER Means BREEDER" by Diane Turski
 * Home
* * Disembabyment: How Our Babies Were Taken

Open Adoption = Open LIES!
|| The Industry || Damage to Mothers || Damage to Babies || Why Records Closed || FAQ

 * Voices From Exile
 * Speaking Out!
 * Young and Pregnant?
Keep Your Baby!
 * Living With Loss: Resources
 * Recommended Books
 * Webrings
 * Guestbook

dear birthmother letters


Married vs. "unmarried" - Pregnancy, Birth and Falling in Love with Your Baby

Infant Adoption, Domestic Adoption, Open Adoption - Pros and Cons

On the surface, domestic infant adoption seems like such a good thing, providing homes for orphans and babies for people who are suffering from infertility or are gay and want to adopt. Everyone has heard about how "everyone benefits" from adoption. But there are negatives as well as positives to infant adoption. What are some of the arguments against infant adoption?

The Negative Side to Adoption:

Hosptials today try to keep mothers and babies together, to prevent the harm that comes from separating them. No other caregiver, not even the baby's father can take the place of her mother. Even kittens and puppies are protected by law, in most of the United States, from being separated from their mothers until they are suffieciently mature. Yet, human infants are not protected - in fact naive parents and grandparents are being led to believe a baby "won't know the difference". With so few real orphans to be found that are young and healthy enough to be desirable for adoption, living family members are being separated to get babies for people to adopt. Adoption businesses are expanding.

Nancy Verrier has become famous for her book "The Primal Wound" which reveals the suffering of the baby separated from her mother and used for adoption.

The Primal Wound - Legacy of the Adopted Child

But THE TRUTH ABOUT INFANT ADOPTION WAS KNOWN TO PROFESSIONALS A LONG TIME AGO. Just look at this webpage revealing the known consequences of separating mothers and babies and adoption.

Known Consequences of Separating Mothers and Babies for Adoption

Open Adoption - Has it Made Adoption Desirable for Mothers and Babies?

Through the wizardry of the adoption industry, more and more infants are being "found" for adoption customers. "Open" adoption is now being sucessfully utilized by adoption attorneys and adoption agencies to "bring more birthmothers to adoption" (ie, get more babies for the real customers of "adoption services"). The adoption industry also uses "sleight of hand" in the form of so-called "respectful adoption language" to make it appear that the person who has the money to get a baby is the "real mother" and the actual mother is just a "biological" mother or "birthmother" (aka birth object). Single mothers are often derisively referred to as "unwed" or "unmarried" to make them seem as thought they are "less than" the real mother of their own child. Infant adoption is even being described as a "Christian" thing to do. But even with open adoption, mothers and babies are still being separated at or soon after birth, a practice that is traumatizing for them and affects them for life.

Many adoption promoters say "things have changed" with adoption - they advertise that with "open" adoption, mothers have "all the choices". The only options that parents and grandparents do NOT seem to be advised of are the options that would help them keep their family intact. That means that more and more human beings are being deprived of their own mothers, fathers, grandparents and siblings.

With open adoption, the people who adopted still have all the power. When the adopted child becomes old enough to distinguish that the person who adopted her is not her real mother, all contact with her natural family may be cut off - if it wasn't already cut off soon after the adoption was finalized. The adopted child can cry all she wants to, wanting to visit with her mother, grandparents or siblings. For that matter, the kept siblings can cry about not getting to see their sister or brother - and they often do. But their cries are like a tree falling in the forest when no one is listening. The suffering of the true family goes completely unacknowledged. When a mother lured into open adoption commits suicide, no one even notices. This surely is not best for any child and not good for true families.

In response to the question: "Are there any negatives to domestic adoption or open adoption?" the answer is a resounding "yes". In addition to the arguments opposed to adoption already mentioned above, fathers often get no choice about their child's fate. Even the customers who are paying for "services" designed to get them a baby are being lied to. Many adoptive "parents" become very depressed when they come to the realization that the child they have acquired through infant adoption does really make up for not having a child of their own.


>> Return to Domestic Adoption Facts


(birth-) Mothers Exploited By Adoption
Site Copyright © 2003 First Mothers Action 
Legal Disclaimer