"Birthmothers" Open Adoption Stories
   "Adoption practice works on the premise that, in order to save the child,
   one must first destroy its mother." - Dian Wellfare, founder of Origins Inc.


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dear birthmother letters

 

Married vs. "unmarried" - Pregnancy, Birth and Falling in Love with Your Baby


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"Abortion Rates affected by Adoption?" Response to a Guestbook Question

A Reader Asked: "Even though people say that there are alternatives to putting a child up for adoption/or abortion, these alternatives are usually not widely spread, underfunded and sometimes quite temporary. (with Republicans in the White House I don't see that changing). IF adoption is made completely illegal don't you surmise abortion rates to soar?" - Sheila


Dear Sheila,

I read your message on the BEBA guest book to adoptees and your question: If adoption were made illegal, wouldn't the abortion rates soar?

I think there's an important option you may not have considered.

If adoption were made illegal, then SOMETHING would have to be done to enable mothers to care for their own babies. Women who want abortions get them. Women who go to term with a baby are women who value their baby and want to keep him, they don't have a baby just to supply babies for adoption brokers and strangers off the street.

Perhaps if you had not been coerced into getting an abortion you might have gone to term with your baby. If you felt coerced into the abortion, perhaps it's because you really wanted your baby. It's like that with motherhood. We grow them for nine months inside us, and we come to love them, even if we are unmarried, and even if we are young and don't have any money. We love our babies. We don't think of them as commodities to be sold or gifts to be given to strangers. We want to raise our own babies.

If adoption were illegal, then society might begin thinking of clever ways to help mothers keep their babies. It might dawn on somebody that, instead of paying millions of dollars to foster care, the dollars could be used to help mothers keep their babies.

You might protest that these mothers are low-life misfits who don't deserve to keep their babies. But most of the babies that are adopted are "desirable" babies -- the babies of white, middle-class, college girls or potential college girls, who were raised to be nice and accommodating -- and that's why they got pressured into unsafe sex, or were raped, in the first place. They don't deserve to have their babies taken away from them.

And you didn't deserve to be coerced into having an abortion and losing your first child. Just think about that. You, too, deserved some help to keep your child.

Sincerely,
Bobbie W.

 
 

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