"birth"Mothers Exploited By Adoption
   “Adoption is not about unwanted babies — it is about unwanted mothers.”

Open Adoption, Closed Adoption, Domestic Adoption  
"Why BIRTHMOTHER Means BREEDER" by Diane Turski
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dear birthmother letters



domestic infant adoption


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Note: The terms

"unwed" mother, "birthmother","birthfather" "biological" parents

make a parent appear to be less than the mother or father they are. These terms dehumanize and limit the parent's role to that of an incubator.

"Dear Birthmother" and "Dear Birthparent" letters soliciting for healthy babies are despicable.

Using the honest terms "mother", "single mother" or "natural mother" help the public to understand that real family members are being separated to obtain babies for adoption.


Adoption: Mothers In Exile

We are mothers who lost our babies to the adoption industry in both closed adoptions and "open" adoptions.

NONE of us willingly surrendered our children.
None of us "gave them away."
Our babies were NOT gifts.
They were NOT "unwanted."

We were exiled from our babies NOT because we were proven unfit, but because we were vulnerable (young, single, sick, or poor), and lied-to and coerced by social workers, doctors, lawyers, maternity homes, and churches: brokers that made money from selling our babies to a market driven by "consumer" demand.

"... it is quite possible that, in the near future, unwed mothers will be "punished" by having their children taken from them right after birth. A policy like this would not be executed -- nor labeled explicitly -- as "punishment." - Unmarried Mothers, by Clark Vincent (1961)

Silenced for decades by shame and guilt, we suffered alone with our grief, believing we were the only ones. Now we find we are not alone - there are many others of us who did not surrender by choice. And if there is only one option, there is not a choice. Reunited with our children, we now see first-hand the pain that adoption caused them.

They told us we'd forget. They told us to "get over it," "put it behind us," and "get on with our lives." They tell our children we "gave them away."

Exiled mothers never forget. We never stopped loving our babies. We never stopped missing our babies.

"Contrary to popular belief, mothers don't go on in this world after "giving up" a child, enjoying their lives and forgetting the child ever existed.  Even though people would love to think this is true, its not the reality of the situation for most of us.  Our lives are colored by the tramatic event and we are never the same afterwards.  Most of us grieve for years ....  - Jaymie Frederick, professional searcher and licensed PI

Young parents today are still pressured and coerced into surrendering their children, often hearing the same lies we were told when we were unwed and pregnant. These abusive practices are still alive and thriving in America's $1.4 billion-per-year adoption industry.

DARE to explore this website and learn the TRUTH about adoption: what the adoption industry doesn't want you to know.

"Adoption is a violent act, a political act of aggression towards a woman who has supposedly offended the sexual mores by committing the unforgivable act of not suppressing her sexuality, and therefore not keeping it for trading purposes through traditional marriage. The crime is a grave one, for she threatens the very fabric of our society. The penalty is severe. She is stripped of her child by a variety of subtle and not so subtle manoeuvres and then brutally abandoned." - Joss Shawyer, Death by Adoption, Cicada Press (1979)

" Adoption is and has always been deeply imbued in classism, as it is adoption's intent and most often outcome to move a child from lower to higher-class status. This is truer today than ever, as adoption has become a business of finding children for clients - Mirah Riben,  Shedding Light on the Dark Side of Adoption

      "I have never lost a child to death other than miscarriages, so I may not know what I am speaking of, but I feel no-one comes close to our grief but the woman whose child was taken by a stranger. They are in the same limbo, dead or alive?
      "Remember, when my child was taken there was no such thing as reunions. No reunion shows on TV or in the paper. No slip of paper was offered to me to sign in case my child comes to the adoption agency and wants to find me 20 years later.
      "He was gone, just gone. Gone forever.
      "Forever .... I still went to fairs, etc. to sit on the bench to look at babies, toddlers, kids, to look and see if I thought I saw my baby.
      "They wrecked my life. They killed me that day. They just didn't bury me. That was their mistake." - Vicki Miller, California

The Mothers Project birthmothers adoption songs and poetry

A one-woman show by Celeste Billhartz of powerful images, narratives and music about the "unwed mothers" of past generations who were forced to surrender their babies to adoption..

Click on Mothers Project Concert to learn more!"

Exiled mother: A natural mother who has lost her child to adoption solely because of her age and/or lack of support, information or resources. An unrecognized mother, she has been thrown away, banished and discarded by her parents, the adoption industry and society, who deemed her unworthy to raise her own child.

What does the Bible say about adoption?


(birth-) Mothers Exploited By Adoption
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